The Garratt Gab

Christmas part 2!

2012-01-15T17:09:00.002+01:00

Mommy arrives home with gifts from South Africa

"Hmm, do I have enough presents...?"

The result - two very happy kids. Happy for presents and VERY happy to have Mommy home.

2012-01-09T20:48:00.001+01:00

Kristin is front row next to the "Santa"

reacting out of fear vs responding out of love

2011-11-20T14:56:00.001+01:00

Hi there. Yes, I know – rather than the Garratt Gab it’smore like the Garratt random spurts with months in between. But rather thatthan nothing. And rather more human face time and less computer time. Humanfaces are so lovely to behold, especially when they are right in front of you,with peanut butter smeared all over them, and big trusting eyes waiting inanticipation for you to continue to love them with all that you are everysecond of every day and night. Quite strong competition.

So anyway, enough about me .... no wait, it’s my blog, it’sall about me. Mowahahaha – so continuing about me .... the other day Kristin’steacher came up to me while I was waiting for her in the car and preceded totell me that they were having some problems with Kristin. No wait, .... andpreceded to tell me IN NORWEGIAN that they were having some problems withKristin. Never, ever forget that. All the difficult conversations, awkwardmoments, they all happen in this foreign tongue. I’m just saying.

So she said that Kristin and some friends were hiding awayfrom the teachers when it was time to go in after break, - and that day they hid for 20minutes! in the bushes outside and her teacher was so scared.

And here is the thing, as I heard this I felt a level ofwarmth rise up inside of me, hot anger and emotion – negative emotions –directed towards Kristin. I greeted her angrily, telling her what I had justheard, making sure she knew that I was displeased and that we were going todeal with it later when Dad got home. I spent the afternoon angry, she had a friendover and I overheard her friend say ‘take this heart shaped ice (that theyfound – cute) and give it to your mom and tell her you love her’ – shame, shewas obviously picking up that I was upset with Kristin. By the time Dan got homefrom work I was an absolute state of nerves, crying, wanting to take away everyprivilege known to man, and he had to calm me down, and wisely said, ‘this isthe first time we’ve heard about it, we need to talk to her first and explainthe seriousness of it and then if it continues we will deal with it’. I wasfuming, I wanted her to be punished, and punished hard.

Why? Why was I like that? Because I was reacting out offear, not responding out of love. And there is the problem. I so often reactout of fear. Fear of what people think. Fear of the future, what if she turnsout to be a delinquent? Fear. Fear. Fear. And it makes me horrible. Respondingout of love, however, is what Daniel did which is why I am so grateful that HEis the father of my children. He took her on his knee, looked her in the eyesand explained what her teacher felt when she did that. Explained that we aregiving her over, entrusting her to her teacher for those hours, and that herteacher needed to look after her and keep her safe. And her eyes got bigger andbigger until they welled up with tears, and she sobbed and sobbed. She had noidea that she was causing suffering, it was just a game to her. And she hasn’tdone it since.

What would it have achieved if I just punished her with minimalexplanation? And it’s not so much what we actually did, it’s the whywe dealt with it – that’s what I’m on about. It’s the motivation. My motivationfor so much of what I do is so often fear, and it breaks down relationship. It brings to mind what I have read recentlyagain in the bible, when God was addressing women, knowing so well that fear wouldbe an issue of ours:

“ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, suchas elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, theunfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’ssight. ⁵ For this is the way the holy women of thepast who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves ... you are her daughters if you do what isright and do not give way to fear.”

Respond out of love. Don't react out of fear. That is what I am telling myself.

2011-11-17T14:21:00.000+01:00

Wow!

my nephew's first objection to racism

2011-11-10T09:08:00.000+01:00

My little adopted nephew, 2 year old Levi, made such an insightful comment the other day. It was a protest, as it were, against racism, in the simplest, most profound way ever.

He was sitting quietly listening to a long conversation my sister in law, Lillibet, was having with her daughter. As she is homeschooling they were talking about some parts of history, when some race groups have oppressed others, the conversation then – as she explained to me on the phone the other day – progressed and deepened about racism and oppression, and she used the example of Apartheid in South Africa, explaining that that is why, even now, some people would view the adoption of Levi, who is black, into a white family as negative. And so the conversation went, and ended. And after a pause, during which the little guy was silent and ponderous, he said, with a hint of protest in his little voice:

“But I am me.”

And there it is. One of the best cries against racism ever. Pure and simple. If I am me how can I be anyone else? And why do you think I should be? Out of the mouths of babes. I love it.

Carl Magnus and Anna's wedding 22 October 2011

2011-10-23T02:04:00.000+02:00

Pictures from Kaleb's birthday party :)

2011-10-22T09:38:00.000+02:00

Above: The first guest, Ingrid Marlene from preschool.

Below: laid for 16 kids!!

An excited Kaleb, at the top of the table with his best friend from preschool, Daniel, at his side. He was so confident and happy, yelling for everyone to COME AND EAT.

The cake that dad made. It rocked! Red cake for Lightening McQueen, he is mad about it and this is the second Lightening McQueen party he has asked for.

Present time! Wow! Such fun, and a little overwhelming. :)

Our weekend .....

2011-10-10T09:25:00.001+02:00

Well, we were all sick. We being the kids and me. Fevers, body pains, sore throats. Daniel was not sick, but he was preparing a sermon for Sunday. He was preaching on Psalm 19 and it went really well, he got lots of good feedback.

So he had his hands full this weekend, and served us really well. He is a treasure of a husband.

Here's the hospital bed.

The kids watching a movie and me on the laptop (looking for good books to buy ... with my seagull look). There we are, 3 sick miserable people.

Nevertheless, we had a lovely friend over, who is doing some mission work in South America later this year, and next. So Kristin helped me bake some of grandma's flapjacks (which, although are still popular, have never once turned out like hers). This was before the fever hit her, so she looks a lot brighter.

And, on Sunday we took lots of medicine, got all dressed up and attended the Kitchen Tea of our beloved sister in law/aunt. It was a high tea, held at the farm - and everyone had to bring a teacup, beautifully wrapped, so that she ended up with a tea cup collection from all her friends, each expressing the different tastes of her friends. I thought it was a fabulous idea! Especially since it was a high tea theme as well. We had a ball! Or a high tea. lol

The décor - all a high tea should be!

Waiting for Aunty Anna.

Anna got blindfolded by her man to be, and lead by her son to be and surprised by all of us!

It was a wonderful, warm time and so special. :)

Mia and Elorm (below) from my bible study group.

Drawing a picture for Aunty Anna while we waited.

Milk in the champain glass.

Trying on one of Anna's friend's shoes.

Carl-Magnus' mom, and Rebecca, who is in my bible group, and basically my adopted little sister, oh and is dating Carl-Magnus' brother.

The mother of the bride, the bride and a proud little niece.

Borrowing her friend's baby.

climbing every mountain, and repenting of being Jesus

2011-10-03T22:19:00.001+02:00

We had our church weekend away this weekend. That is driving there:

That's the conference centre we stayed at.

It was awesome! Beautiful setting up in the mountains, lovely accommodation, amazing food and great teaching by a faithful servant from England. It was so encouraging and relaxing - I almost forgot to be tense and anxious about my life in Norway, and just about anything else I can think of.

It was relaxing because, well, I managed to sleep in my own room, leaving Daniel sleeping with the kids - whom he had to get up four times in the night for, and then I managed to hide away from them at breakfast - on the other side of the smorgasbord - behind the orange juice, leaving Daniel to feed them.

It was splendid.

The kids were actually really well behaved, and sat and listened to the talks - here's photographic evidence:

It was encouraging firstly because of the fellowship. Here's my lovely sister in law, and her soon to be husband, Carl Magnus, otherwise known as Carl the magnificent - he embodies all that is outstanding in Norwegian culture. He whipped up a fire within minutes on our walk on Saturday, and if we hadn't packed sandwiches I am convinced he would have hunted down a reindeer and given us a spit roast - while sewing the hide into leather boots with his big toe. He's one of those .... and more than that, he is godly and humble and submits to Jesus, and is just so darn nice, and he carves me wooden knives when he comes for dinner.

Besides Carl the magnificent and such we had a young man, 24 years old, and his 20 year old wife and baby boy with us from Iran - they are refugees in Norway because, after having been tortured for many months for being Christians, they were finally kicked out of their country. What a privilege to spend some time with them. They have very limited Norwegian, and no English. But we had Sonja, who is in my bible group, and is also from Iran who translated for us.

It was also encouraging because the Lord spoke to me through His word which was wonderfully explained by that man sitting there below: Ken Needham (my mom in law translated). As he explained the Bible, I realised some difficult things about myself. I realised that I was trying to justify and redeem myself! But that's someone else's job description isn't it...?

You see, Daniel and I moved to Norway to do ministry, which we believe all Christians should do wherever they are, and for various reasons we decided to do it here. But I had started putting my faith into a ministry or work of some kind to justify not only our move here, but also my whole life. I started thinking that living a worthwhile life, in my mind a life full of busyness for the Lord, would redeem me. Would make me acceptable to Him. I was trying to be Jesus. The work that I should be doing out of a response to His finished work of justification and redemption I was turning into my salvation. I now know why I have always felt such a heaviness in my heart, and such a lack of joy. For example, when I am trying to save my kids from their sins and justify them before the Lord, all the joy in parenting disappears. I have so much more joy when I am not trying to judge the world, or save the world, or earn favour with God - all of Jesus' jobs.

It's really tiring pretending to be Jesus. Tiring. Discouraging. Joy sucking, energy sapping, unloving to those around me and ultimately unsustainable. I have found that of all the threats to me persevering as a Christian to the end, this is the most dangerous. Much more than the traps and lies of Satan, the allure of the world, the sinking sand of laziness, or the painful stabs from other Christians is the dead-end, hit a brick wall type of utter hopelessness and murderous discouragement that comes from trying to do Jesus' work yourself. Trying to justify yourself, redeem yourself and propitiate God's wrath yourself. There is nothing so debilitating. That's why I think so many religious people give up. Jesus is Jesus, not Debby!

I went to pray, and, instead of saying many words, I simply repented. I just had to repent, and stop pretending to be Jesus. And trust that He is doing rather a good job at being Himself, I should leave the hard work to Him, and enjoy His good gifts. His burden really is light. It's all my burdens that are so darn heavy, and unmanageable.

Besides having my heart turned inside out and needing to humbly repent and believe the gospel, for like the millionth time in my life - we ......climbed every mountain......

.....ford every stream...

.....searched every byway......

... followed every rainbow...

until we found ....... my grumpy side. Cramps in our muscles. And hunger. So we stopped. And ate. And made fires. And whittled a cabin out of twigs.
Well, some of us did. Some of us just sat and ate.

It was marvellous.

Wednesday morning with Kaleb

2011-10-01T06:00:00.000+02:00

Kaleb is home on Wednesdays, and always ready for some Kaleb time. Here he is this last Wednesday:

Baking at his request. He is doing really well. Now he cracks the eggs on the side of the bowl rather than just crushing them in his hand - his favourite baking task is still licking the bowl afterwards.

a South African friend ....

2011-09-30T06:00:00.000+02:00

Can you believe that Kristin has a little girl in her class who is South African. Ok, half South African, but when you are sitting in rural Norway, thousands of miles away from your beloved South Africa, finding someone with any percentage of South African blood is huge and wonderful. Her mom is from Durban, married to a Norwegian - and they live in the same street!! with a little girl in the same class. And as I believe in a sovereign, involved God rather than coincidence, I say 'thank you!' ..... We have been in and out of each other's homes since school started. The girls get on so well, and although Kathrine is more comfortable speaking Norwegian (her mom has only spoken Norwegian to her until recently) she is very good at English and Kristin LOVES speaking English with her, and keeps reminding her to speak English when she automatically switches back to Norwegian. This morning she was here playing for an hour BEFORE school (from 7am to 8am) and when I dropped them off, I heard them make a plan, through giggles, to speak only English to each other the whole day at school then no one will know what they are saying. Well the plan lasted all of 2 seconds because as soon as they joined the rest of their class the Norwegian started to flow freely. I am still not used to my child speaking this foreign tongue with such ease and no accent.

Here are some pictures of them playing this morning - I couldn't get them to stop playing so they are more action shots.

a weekend away

2011-09-29T06:00:00.000+02:00

The other weekend (yes, I am totally not a consistent blogger right now, it's on my to-do list!) we went down south to an island called 'Jomfruland' (virgin land named after a bunch of nuns who holidayed there around the year 1000, now there's some useless information for you). We went with Kristin's preschool year last year, five families plus her teacher and her husband. It was lovely - beautiful, relaxing, nice food and weather (the kids swam in the sea), and the people were very sweet and kind. But I still had the need to have a little cry when I went for a walk on my own on Sunday morning.

It struck me afresh that for the rest of my life I am going to be foreign. I am going to be different. We have such a deep need to belong don't we? At the moment it is so stark and severe, as my Norwegian is not up to scratch yet. So the weekend was spent in a fog - the type where everyone suddenly gets up and leaves and you're left there thinking 'what did I miss?' or everyone bursts out laughing and you are the one giggling nervously in the corner hoping they aren't laughing at you and some primitive African habit you don't know you have. My Norwegian isn't that bad, but when you are in a group and everyone is talking about different things at the same time, using slang, dialects, etc.. it takes the language to a whole other level. It is so desperately discouraging.

And then I realised that even when I am fluent in the language, I will still not be Norwegian. Not that there is anything wrong with being foreign, and I know that part of the decision to move here was the willingness to give up my right to my language and culture, it is still a hard place to be: on the outside. It is really difficult being foreign.

Then I started to think about the other race and language groups in South Africa. And I felt for the first time what they must have gone through during Apartheid. Imagine being made foreign in your own country. They never moved, they never made the decision to leave their culture and language like we did, and yet for no good reason they were put on the outside, made 'other'. Their languages made invalid, and suddenly they had to be educated in a foreign tongue. Their culture classified as worthless, the people themselves unwelcome in their very own country. I had to stop walking, I looked out over the ocean and I wept.

It is quite annoying, and slightly exhausting that with every event here comes a bucket full of strong emotions and internal struggles. Life is still not normal for me yet. The effects of us moving here are still very acute in my mind and heart.

Anyway, here are some pictures of our time together. It really is a beautiful place, but then again the whole of Norway is beautiful.

The boat trip over.

The evening we arrived (our kids the only ones without life jackets - spot the parents from health and safety oblivious Africa)

The delight of bird watching. Check Kristin and Kaleb's faces.

Thank you for the gift for our little girl!

2011-09-28T07:56:00.000+02:00

That's us early on Monday morning before breakfast and school - she was over the moon with your present mom and dad - and has been playing with it ever since. :) Miss you guys xoxox

Kristin's birthday party

2011-09-25T08:57:00.000+02:00

I thoroughly enjoyed Kristin's 6th birthday party yesterday. There was so much to be thankful for. My involved, loving, hard working mom in law who helped me so much. My amazing, special friend who - as a favour - brought 2 ponies and a whole lot of (terrified!) bunnies and guinea pigs for the kids to ride on/play with. The other loving family members and friends who joined in the day to celebrate our precious little girl, and of course Kristin herself, she is a gift to us from God, on loan for a time and it is our daily prayer that we would be worthy parents of her.

We had our horse party on our family farm, with the neighbour's cows calving in the background, cold but beautiful weather with a roaring fire inside the old house (old being the middle ages). It was a very happy, pleasant, blessed time. My heart was full afterwards. And so was Kristin's.

I have finally realised that - for me in any case - there is a conflict between perfection and relationship. Either I have things/do things perfectly (in my eyes) and be a grumpy old fart and ignore or get irritated with my kids, or I throw perfection to the dogs and am much more relationship oriented as a result - always a better option don't you think? So I included Kristin as much as possible in the preparations of the party - and as a result I didn't have 25 different cakes for people to choose from (which is how I do it) ... and she decorated her cake which I think totally rocked !! Even though she managed to dig up half the cake in the process of icing it, it actually looked like mud which it was supposed to do! So that was good :)

Here are some pictures of the day, but if you would like to see some video clips (not long) click here - that's what we Emailed to you yesterday mom. :) (you hear me speak Norwegian, and because you do not know Norwegian you'll be impressed)

Icing the cake with chocolate spread!

A decorated farm scene!

Fudge for hay stacks, grapes for trees, a chocolate fence and sweet fields. And the farm characters were candles.

My dear friend Kate - the one behind all the animals. She is such a love. (She hates having pictures taken of herself so she grabbed the nearest person for moral support - hence Daniel in the picture.)

Some of them riding horses, these are the only photos I have! None of my kids on the horses - I really suck at taking pictures.

The old house - which is just about falling down but delightful inside nevertheless. A really faithful old house. The kids looking at the bunnies outside.

That guinea pig is staying well away!

Trust and obey .....

2011-09-04T16:17:00.000+02:00

.... because there is no other way (believe me, I've tried!) ......... to be happy in Jesus (not in other things) .... but to TRUST and OBEY !!!!!

I've had to really learn the lesson from that profound little Sunday school song afresh as we have embarked on the next leg of our journey here. It's been a hectic summer. An emotional one. Certainly a wet one! We've been trying to be smarter than the rain in moving stuff - that is moving things really REALLY quickly when there's clear skies. Been a bit hectic.

Well, we are settled in our new house, and have already had lots of little people from the neighbourhood in our home, baking, doing crafts, empting the contents of our sun cream all over our shaggy, woollen carpet, and generally undoing the only order that I've managed to create in our house. But it's been wonderful. I love meeting new people, eternal beings, made in God's image, a reflection of the glorious Creator, with unique gifts and combinations of traits - each person is like a treasure ready to be discovered, some take more time as life and sin has scared them so much, but they are still so worth getting to know. I love it. I'm an extrovert, can you tell?

Well, pictures of our house have to wait - I will give you a clue why:

Enough said? So that will come soon ....

So besides moving, and Kristin bashing out her two front teeth:

... she started school. School in Norway, where every child is looked in the eye and told they are so SO special. Where there are no school fees and they are given all their books and stationary free. Where there are 4 adults to 1 class! Where even the naughtiest of children are treated with the utmost respect. Where the principal sits with your child, for as long as it takes, if she is worried about leaving her mother - like mine was. The principal came in and held her hand and sat with her at her desk, rubbing her back until she was feeling ok. The only time I saw my principal was when I was in trouble, and he was SCARY. Really, it is a lovely school in a lovely country and I have been absolutely ...... STRESSED !!!!!

Yes, dumb isn't it? Sin is never logical. It is good at justifying itself, so often seems it, but really it is always so SO silly. I have been a tight knot of stress. 'Oh I don't understand everything the teacher said' 'Will she cope with a bilingual life?' 'Will I?' 'What if my child struggles with dyslexia like I did?' 'I so want her to be well literate in English because of the Christian resources found in the English speaking world - not to mention the movies!' 'What if no one plays with her, she misbehaves, she does drugs, is used in Alien experimentation, a meteorite falls from the sky and kills them all.....' and so have been my thoughts.

And so as my daughter has started this new chapter in her life, I have found myself needing to return to my King's feet and cling to Him and remind myself, 'trust and obey for there's no other way to happy in Jesus than to trust and obey.'

Walking to school on the first day.

They all got a rose.

A bit overwhelmed at her desk.

Serious fake smile. But she loves it now.

Hold on, Kaleb wants to say something, "It has been a bit difficult for me with my sister getting all the attention because she's started at big school, but I'll be ok - it's all part of the sanctification process as God uses all things to show us that we are, in fact not Him in order to make us more like Him. He is really cool like that. And Lightning MacQueen is also really cool."

Facing the suffering of this nation ....

2011-08-02T14:24:00.000+02:00

As we get some distance from the recent, horrific events here in Norway, there is a settled sadness, and that question, always echoing in our hearts: "but what about God? Where was He?" I was facing this same question a few months ago as I sat with a young girl who has personally gone through horrific suffering. My heart was aching with hers, I was wanting so badly to give her a clear answer to suffering. But one thing I could say, which in time I am sure can become just as comforting: the God she serves has suffered. God has suffered. He does not always give us the reasons for our suffering. But he has suffered Himself. Even though He didn't have to, He allowed Himself to feel our pain. It says in the Bible (in Hebrews) that we do not serve a God who is unable to sympathise with us.

John Stott has recently gone to be with the Lord, a great servant of God, and this morning I read this quote from his book The Cross of Christ: Let your heart hear this.

"I could never myself believe in God, if it were not for the cross. The only God I believe in is the One Nietzsche ridiculed as 'God on the cross.' In the real world of pain, how could one worship a God who was immune to it? I have entered many Buddhist temples in different Asian countries and stood respectfully before the statue of the Buddha, his legs crossed, arms folded, eyes closed, the ghost of a smile playing round his mouth, a remote look on his face, detached from the agonies of the world. But each time after a while I have had to turn away. And in imagination I have turned instead to that lonely, twisted, tortured figure on the cross, nails through hands and feet, back lacerated, limbs wrenched, brow bleeding from thorn-pricks, mouth dry and intolerably thirsty, plunged in Godforsaken darkness. That is the God for me! He laid aside his immunity to pain. He entered our world of flesh and blood, tears and death. He suffered for us. Our sufferings become more manageable in the light of his. There is still a question mark against human suffering, but over it we boldly stamp another mark, the cross that symbolizes divine suffering. 'The cross of Christ ... is God’s only self-justification in such a world” as ours....' 'The other gods were strong; but thou wast weak; they rode, but thou didst stumble to a throne; But to our wounds only God’s wounds can speak, And not a god has wounds, but thou alone.'”

One life.

2011-08-01T21:17:00.000+02:00

dsdsd

Returning to Notodden Misjonskirke this Autumn!

"I can see clearly now the rain has gone....."

2011-07-31T09:51:00.000+02:00

We're having bright, bright, BRIGHT sunshiny days ...

Wish you were still here ......

Garratt faces

2011-07-30T10:23:00.000+02:00

My little boy: ..

remarkably like his dad (these pictures were taken at a different time) ..

... and his aunt ..... (who stole my camera without me looking) ...

The two who started it all .....

Welcome to the crazy Garratt world, where you are forbidden to take yourself too seriously.

"It's indescribably beautiful. It is Norway."

2011-07-27T09:57:00.001+02:00

That's a quote from a Swedish newspaper. The world has noticed the way in which Norway has responded to the past events. It hasn't just been me who has marvelled at their gracious response and togetherness in their tragedy.

King Harald (King of Norway) said "It is when our nation is put to the test that the strength, unity and courage of the Norwegian people become evident. Now we stand firmly by our values.
I hold on to the belief that freedom is stronger than fear.
I hold on to the belief in an open Norwegian democracy and society.
I hold on to the belief in our opportunities to live free and safe in our own country"

A German newspaper wrote: "Even in their deepest grief, Norwegians are not hysterical. They resist hatred. It is amazing to see how the politicians and the country are responding. They are sad to the depth of their souls .... a dignified sorrow. But no one swears vengeance ... Instead, they want even more humanity and democracy. It is one of the most notable strengths of this small country."

"Little peaceful Norway is showing the world how to handle situations like this. Right now I would rank Norway as the largest country in the world, I have never seen anything like it" (source unknown - attributed to Barack Obama, although this is not confirmed):

Der Spiegel (a German newspaper) writes: "How can a country refuse a man's murderous hatred? The Norwegians have found an answer: Love and Hope"

And the BBC notes that "even when the nation is in grief, are people prepared to respond to Anders Breivik's violence with peace and unity. "

And here they are, gathered, thousands of Norwegians gathered in their grief, in Oslo, holding roses. It is of this event the Swedish newspaper said:

"It happens as if by magic. 200 000 flowers lifted in the air simultaneously. It is indescribably beautiful. It is Norway ".
(picture taken from Aftenposten)

hi again - from an eventful neck of the woods!

2011-07-25T22:29:00.000+02:00

I have an emotional sea of whirlwinds, waves and still water within me whenever my parents visit me. I get like an out-of-body experience (and we don't even smoke the pot together) ... I think because, like every other child in the world, I am concerned about what they think of me so I start to analyse my life and try to look at it objectively, or through their eyes - and then I start to watch myself from the outside as it were, and think things like 'Oh my word I live here, and like this!' and 'Are my kids always that wild?' and 'Why did I get such awesome parents? (and how could I have left them)' and 'Do I ever put my dirty clothes in the wash basket?' (I don't by the way) .... and I become all introspective, which really suits my generation but is so bad for my soul, and self-analysing and serious and a bit sad, with a husband who then starts to laugh at me and says things like 'sad is happy for deep people'.

But it was a very good time, in spite of my heavy (not always negative but heavy nonetheless) emotions. I loved having them and hated saying good bye. As usual.

Then we got our new house and started work on it. Because Norway has no cheap labour! And I painted and painted .. and it is not nearly finished, and I hate painting and I really suck at it because I start to become a perfectionist - which, if you have seen my kitchen sink you'll know that I am not - but yet with painting there is such a feeling of permanence, and again I am brought back to earth by my husband who says things like "you don't need to paint the door frame with nuclear physicists' precision - this is painting a door, not nuclear science!" - maybe I'm just a frustrated scientist (even though I had to drop maths and science).

Anyway, I spend the hours I am not cleaning and caring at home and work facing a wall with a paint brush and P!nk or Tim Keller blaring in the background (a strange balance of swear words and the Word of God) .. and a cup of instant coffee at hand, which now tastes suspiciously like ammonia since I cleaned our new house with it a few weeks ago (was hoping to reduce some of the elbow grease by using strong chemicals instead and my nostrils got fried - now everything tastes like the chemical). People it sucks to move.

But it is made infinitely better with loving, selfless, hard working friends and family. This is our first meal in our new home - my in laws brought a delicious picnic supper. My mom in law has just about painted the whole house single-handedly so far - I do a centimetre and she's done a room - it's the physicist in me, what can I do? She's struggling to come out. I would have more pictures of the painting - but really, first of all, in spite of all my moaning, most of them wouldn't be of me, but rather of kind and loving others who have offered to help. In fact, as I type this there are two there right now, painting, while I ate pizza at home. Don't tell them. And those times I do paint, really, I don't want you to witness it, our relationship is just not ready for that yet. Trust me. But really, my in laws are gems - just look at them!!!

Then the country was traumatised. What a sad, horrible time for Norway. Moving to another country and immersing yourself in another culture automatically makes you an anthropologist - and so I have been observing these people for two and a half years now. It has been very interesting, very humbling, altering - it changes you to watch others so closely, how others do life. And it has been very interesting to watch them grieve, to watch them process this event. And they did it in as calm and gentle a manner as they do all things. No hype or revengeful back lashes and no volume even, just a quiet, solemn grief. As the prime minister put it, Norwegians are close - don't you love that, they are close, like neighbours who may not know each other personally but share a common bond and life. And he said that Norway has not ever experienced something so violent since World War II. And so, he said, they are joining together to support each other. Which is true, in fact tomorrow evening at 18:00 we are heading down to our town square to join many others - just to be together, to gather, to exchange sad and comforting looks, because we are close.

I must admit that I have had to make myself sensitive. Because when I got the news it did not hit me in my stomach and shake my world as it did every single Norwegian. I think I am hardened to suffering on this scale. There is so much of it in South Africa and in Africa, and of course it has been a part of my personal experience as well. I have had to teach myself to feel, feel like I should feel when faced with such an event. In one sense it was like that part of my heart was covered in hard, immovable scar tissue. In South Africa, there truly has been too many tears to cry. You stop crying after a while. The Norwegians around me are teaching me to feel like that again. Today at work, where I assist a lady who is paralysed, I had to help her wipe away her tears at this event - and for the first time I felt mine coming. It's right and fitting and normal. We shouldn't ever be used to this!

Here is a quote from the guy who caused all this pain and suffering - he was behind both the bomb in Oslo and the shooting episode. He is my age. He is Norwegian and he said of the event:

"When the Labour party takes the ideological path that they have taken and continues to de-construct Norwegian culture and mass import Muslims then they must take responsibility for this treachery. Every person of conscience cannot allow his country to be colonised by Muslims."

And so he displayed the very violence that he purports to hate in "Muslims"! It would be ironic if it weren't so tragic. Love, Christ's love, is the answer, not violence. "Father forgive them" not "Father destroy them".

And THEN! The heavens opened, and forgot to close, and we were flooded. Roads, houses, our railway - washed away. It was like the weather expressed the dramatic, over the top dimension the nation's response lacked. A lot of security - in terms of infrastructure and feelings of being safe - was quite simply washed away this weekend.

Here are some pictures of the flooding in our little town - the photographs are from local newspapers, especially Telen (www.telen.no) - Mom and Dad this is where we were driving around together!

So there's my life for the past couple of weeks, in rural Norway.

My Debs

2011-07-09T01:10:00.018+02:00

It is always difficult

to put into words

(difficult)

the love inexpressible I have for the

wonderful woman that is

wife.

She is incredible,

a BLAST OF SUNSHINE!

an electric smile.

She is gentleness inexhaustible,

tenderness personified,

humble in heart,

considerate of others,

warm and accepting,

generous with praise.

She is a fortress of steel,

ANCHORED IN CHRIST

her identity secure

her future written

surrounded by

her love inexhaustible

his love

You are my everyday joy

and the companion of my dreams

my friend and my lover

my soulmate and fellow theologian

full of wit and wisdom

and incomparable beauty

My heart sings when I am with you

and I want to shout from the rooftops: "Look who I'm with!"

I just love being with you

Indescribable

uncontainable

is my love for you

my beloved

Debby.

Happy birthday precious one.

My plans and God's plans

2011-06-18T14:53:00.000+02:00

It is so hard not knowing the future. And I have found that even more so since we were called halfway across the world! We know we have work to do for Him. We know we are here on His business, but what and how and when are questions that bug me everyday. And then the worries start. What if we won't manage? What if we can't do what He asks? What if we don't succeed in the way we deem significant? What if we don't want to? What if He doesn't ask us to do anything? Or anything we think is worthwhile anyway. Already we have noticed a different direction to our ministry (and a lot more responsibility) than what we had envisioned for ourselves, or thought we were adequate for - what is the Lord doing with our lives?

Moving here has been an incredible learning curve for both of us, and also quite unsettling. Well, for me anyway - because I have come face to face with my lack of trust in God in away I would never have done if I had stayed in my comfort zone. And yesterday I was having another one of those cry sessions with the Lord - the ones where, like Job (although minus any significant suffering) I cry out to Him, asking questions, and then, in reply, He gives me some questions of His own. Like, "are you going to trust Me?" And then the conversation ends.

But last night I sought some council for this issue - so I listened to Tim Keller's sermon entitled 'Your plans and God's plans', which I highly recommend. Google it, you'll find it. One thing really struck me, and so I have to share it.

He read this verse: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3

I am well acquainted with this verse, it's a universal favourite - but then he said, "you think you have heard this correctly, but in fact it is the exact opposite to what you heard." He goes on to explain that when we read it we hear, give your plan over to the Lord, and the deeds of that plan will succeed. But it doesn't say that. It says, give your deeds to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. It is the other way round. Here's the point: give everything to the Lord, all you do and say everyday, and it will change your bigger plans. If all you do is committed to Him, then your plans will be in line with His plans - and His plans always succeed.

It's the same with this verse: "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Ps 37:4

When we are delighting ourselves in Him, then our desires change, and what is important to Him becomes important to us, and therefore what He wants, His desires are given to us.

The point is not to find the secret to get God - the almighty, magnificent God, to make our dreams, plans and desires come true. The point is to get His dreams, plans and desires - to want them to come true, and then we never have to worry because, well as He says Himself:

"I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please." Isaiah 46:10

And it is a great comfort to know that God's desires and plans are always what we need. He is our greatest good. Because, as much as the world tries to deny it, we are intricately linked to Him, He is our only source of anything good, so when He succeeds we are automatically affectedly positively - it will be impossible not to be, like the experiences and diet of a pregnant mother affecting her unborn child.

I tell you what, that perspective changed my prayer - and caused me to humble myself before the Lord, and I started praying for the strength to commit all I do, everything big and small, to Him, to live the everyday for Him, to saturate myself in Him - and then maybe, I will be so consumed with Him that our bigger plans, the very course of our lives will be drawn along in the right direction.

For those who couldn't see the video on the last post!

2011-06-16T10:59:00.000+02:00

Daniel and Debby from Daniel Garratt on Vimeo.

a celebration of my Love: our life in pictures

2011-06-14T23:07:00.000+02:00

Last week was Daniel's birthday. It was so cool.

Opening presents from the kids. We have realised by now that everything is about the kids, even our birthdays!

I love his birthdays because I love him, and he is so easy to please. You know, I think actually most men are really easy to please - I think that as women we like to complicate things. And you know what complicates things the most? Discontentment. Of course there are those men who shouldn't have ever been allowed within 20 metres of a woman, but I think for most of us we can decide that we have a horrible man, or we can decide that we have a wonderful man. Because all of us are horrible, and all of us are wonderful at the same time - one of those strange, we were made in the image of the magnificent God but are fallen type of paradoxes.

But it has struck me in my many conversations with women over the years that the thought of their husband comparing their body with another woman's body was the unpardonable sin - but yet they have no problem comparing their husband to someone they have thought up. And that lies in my heart too. I am so so blessed to have Daniel, he is everything I need and desire. I am utterly in love. But I could not be, I could easily teach myself to despise him - it is a thousand small decisions every day. To stay in love is not luck, or a good match - it is hard work, it is talking to yourself instead of listening to yourself, it is dying to yourself instead of pampering yourself and - for us - it has been a whole lot of grace from God. We don't love God and others, it is He who loves us and helps us to love others. And that is a great comfort!!!

So there's my sermon - hey, you're reading my blog, you asked for it. Daniel is a precious gift from God. I have been thinking about our life together (nearly 13 years now!), that has been so rich and blessed - hard at times, but so worthwhile - and I made us a little photo slide show, and then I thought I would share it with you. So there you go.

Happy birthday my love!!!!!!!!!!!

Kristin's end of year party - another nook in Norway

2011-06-11T11:17:00.000+02:00

Tuesday evening was one of those moments - a small representation of my whole experience here in Norway, an event or situation where I can see all my feelings, all the dynamics of me living here played out before me like a movie. It was Kristin's preschool end of year event, and we had it at one of the families' holiday house, where they spend a good part of the year. An old farm that was built in the 1600s. We drove half an hour up the mountain to get to it, and it was like stepping back in time, much like it has felt moving here.

It might be because we have moved to a village, but both Daniel and I have noticed that time is different here. You can almost see time, in people's eyes, and in their movements. You can certainly feel it, for the first time I have felt time. It's not that I have more time here than I did, in fact I am really busy. But I don't feel busy, I feel like I can breathe. I think the light definitely has something to do it - the dramatic change in the times the sun comes up and goes down does something to you - well, it has to me. I am one of those whose body tells me when it is 5 o'clock, but since living here my internal clock has been totally messed up, and almost redefined.

There is also such a sense of history here, a feeling like we are stepping into a long, long story. I never felt that in South Africa, maybe it's a colonial thing. Maybe colonial societies have a different sense of time and history, the society is relatively new, there is a strong focus on the future - it's deep in our mindset, coming from a stock of pioneers, travellers, movers for one reason or another. There is a rootlessness, with both negative and positive effects. But here, here it is so so different. A sense of history gives a sense of connectedness, stability.

I stepped out of the car and realised again that I actually really love being here. I love living here. I sometimes pretend to myself that I don't, because for some reason I always think I should be unhappy, I should be worried about something, I should have an issue about something. But in fact I am grateful that the Lord determined for us to live here. And there is a sense of freedom in moving to another place, a freedom to be who you are as an adult without people who have watched you become that person, and all the mistakes it took. It does change the way people relate to you.

But then, we went to talk to the others and very soon the hard part of living here was emphasised. There is a sense of freedom, but there is also bondage - I can't be myself. I can't joke, I can't express all my feelings, I don't understand everything. Sometimes the Norwegian comes easily, and I do function now in Norwegian, I work with a lady who knows no English. But at other times the language is a rope around me, and I am unable to participate - even the listening words, the words you give to show the other person you are there with them, and interested are missing. It's a huge handicap. This night was one of those times, when the language was a rope, and I very quickly felt utterly lost in this new world.

It changes your personality. I am so different in Norwegian than I am in English. Sometimes I think that is good, and other times I think it is terrible. It depends on how I am feeling about myself that day, or what I want to express. But everyday there is a sense of loss, a sense that the me who I was will never be the same, even when I know Norwegian well enough to express myself, there are so many other aspects of my culture and personal history that has shaped me that will never be understood.

Here are some pictures of that amazing place, and the people:

Lots of houses on one farm, as was necessary in those days. I love how they have grass on the roofs, it is apparently protective, and kept the houses warm - and when the grass got too long, they put their goats up there to eat it!

The main house.

The kitchen, I was going to take more - it was amazing, but I thought that taking pictures of her kitchen was not helping the ever present 'otherness' I was already displaying!

Looking out from inside the house.

Some of the kids playing. Lots of older and younger brothers and sisters there.

We had a picnic in the middle of the farm. I brought Bobotie and they loved it! Then Marie, Kristin's teacher, cooked flapjacks outside. It was great fun. Lots of great food.

Daniel eating Bobotie, on a mountain farm in Norway. hehe. And that on the table is real South African chutney, that you can buy in the supermarket here! It has 'produced in South Africa' on it with our flag, those things thrill me.

Some more buildings, the second one a fully functioning house.

The kids had a ball, except for one little girl who broke her collar bone after an awkward fall!! That was NOT fun. Poor thing.

some summer pictures

2011-06-04T19:52:00.000+02:00

It's summer time! And the living is easy - seriously, living through the winters here gives new meaning to that song! We are so ready for summer, LOVING it. Here are some pictures - of some of our summer lovin'.

Beach time!!

Anna :)

I hadn't just been stung by a bee, the sun was in my eyes - seriously the sun, the beautiful hot summer sun!! Woohooo!!!

My with my friend Tatiana.

Brother and sister :)

Kaleb and Daddy dancing on the rock.

My bible study group - some of us.

A family picnic - in the evening.

Some fun at home.

Mommy and Kristin colouring in (I think I enjoy it more).

Mommy made a sword! Now finally I can slay - EVERYTHING (including mommy).

Kaleb as Christopher Robin

2011-06-01T13:16:00.001+02:00

A grandmother with her grandchildren!

2011-06-01T13:15:00.002+02:00

man does not live on bread alone......

2011-05-29T13:11:00.001+02:00

My British father in law (Jack) and Norwegian mother in law (Marit) are true gems, treasures! Jack is the pastor of our church and preaches in English, while Marit translates, and because of that (and other reasons, from their foreign-ness to their warmth and hospitality) many foreign people have started coming to our church. We actually have a lot of foreigners in our town, many from Africa, the Middle East, Eastern Europe, the Philippines and Thailand.

And that is also why my English-speaking bible study has grown. As I've said before it started just with Mia (from the Philippines) and I reading the Bible together, and now we are a bunch from 7 different countries. Our aim is not only to study God's word, knowing Him better so we can serve Him better, but also to reach those who don't yet know Him. So last night we had our first evangelistic event. We gathered at our family farm to share a bit of our cultures - food, dress, dance and music, and then Jack and Marit spoke - Jack gave a fantastic, simple gospel message. It was awesome! It rained but it was awesome (the rain stopped just at the right time for the dance and talk - weather is not random, nothing is random in the universe, everything is intricately controlled by an attentive creator God).

It was a great evening. The food was so varied and so delicious - as we advertised more and more wanted to participate, so we had 11 different cultures cooking! It was quite something. My girls, and some others from our congregation, danced for us and there was a great turn out. We were overwhelmed by God's goodness to us. And one of my dear girls, a French/Norwegian teenager in my bible study, had a car accident on the way - and God shielded her from harm. We are so grateful to Him for that! Receiving the news of the accident was horrible, my body went so cold - she is like a sister to me now, and I was so worried about her. But she came out without even a scratch! (Although emotionally she was quite shaken.) Her car, however, was not so blessed - and is drenched in gorgeous French stew that none of us got the chance to taste. :-(

The evening was such a wonderful demonstration on the kingdom of God - every tongue, nation and people gathered in the name of Jesus Christ. How awesome is that!!!! One lady spoke to me afterwards, saying how amazed she was that we did this, and all this work we put in to get people to hear about Jesus - and I said that to me it is absolutely normal, if you believe that this life is passing away, and that people are going to spend eternity in either heaven or hell then of course you would work hard at telling them about Jesus, the only One who can rescue us from hell. It is a natural response. And I am so grateful for all the others there last night who worked - some of them, especially my parents in law, much harder than I did to make that possible. I am surrounded by some awesome people!

So here are some pictures of the event. :)

Anna, my sister in law who also grew up in South Africa, and me at my South African stand.

The Bobotie was finished quickly - Milk Tart time!!

Of course, Norway was also represented - this is precious Martine who's the only thorough-bred Norwegian in my bible study group. She has such a lovely, soft nature.

Mia from the Philippines and Elorm from Togo (West Africa) - such lovely ladies who love Jesus and have added so much to my life (Elorm has very recently joined our bible study group).

Sonja from Iran, with such a story to tell of her escape from her country. She has an amazing story of how God protected her even when she didn't know Him yet, and how she found Jesus after moving here. She is like a mother figure to us in the group, and we adore her!!!

This is Tatiana from Moldavia. We met at my Norwegian course, and when I invited her she said she could make Moldavian food! Woohoooo! It was absolutely delicious! I instantly invited myself over to her place for supper. That's a Moldavian weapon she's holding.

These two lovely ladies are from Eritrea - in their traditional dress with loads of Eritrean food. They aren't in my bible study, but they are in our church and it is a joy getting to know them.

My Dad in law also did a curry - on his British stand - and my friend from Lithuania made a pink soup! It was very tasty.

Kaleb was handing out plates. Sweet man!

We gathered.

We danced.

And we heard about Jesus. (My parents in law on their veranda.)

"Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." - Jesus (Matthew 4:4)

another 'life of late'

2011-05-21T16:26:00.000+02:00

Well, I'm not exactly the consistent blogger right now, and it doesn't look like it's going to change any time soon - my life is going from busy to hectic. At the end of this month I have two exams - eeek, yes EXAMS, Norwegian language exams - I need to pass these, in order to take the next one up which will qualify me to study here in Norway. So, those are on the 27th and 31st of May. On Saturday the 28th of May my bible study group - consisting of about 7 different nationalities - are running an evangelistic event out at our farm - an international evening, of food tasting from our different cultures and some dance and music and a short talk about why we believe in the same God even though we are from such different cultures. The countries represented are South Africa of course (I'm making Bobotie and Milk Tart - really what else is there?), the Philippines, Togo (west Africa), France, Moldova, Eritrea, Iran and Iraq and of course Norwegian, oh and my dad in law is having a British stand! Such a variety of cultures and therefore foods to taste! Our church has actually become very multi-cultural - probably because my parents in law (who pastor the church) are multi-cultural and my dad in law preaches in English while my mom in law translates into Norwegian. So as a result my English speaking bible study, that I started a year ago (and that actually started just with one lady - my friend Mia - as a one to one, meeting to study the bible together) has grown quite a bit. And this week we welcome my own sister in law (Dan's sis Anna) which is totally awesome!!! So far we have gone through Mark's gospel, Romans (which I really didn't have clue about - the whole way through) and we've just finished Philippians which was a great blessing - and this week we start Ruth before closing for the summer.

This bible study group has been a source of enormous encouragement to me, as we have looked at God's word together. It is so wonderful to talk about Jesus with other Christians, to have fellowship around His word - and to allow the strong bonds of friendship to form around us. I thank God for them and His bible that satisfies our hunger.

So anyway, that is this month! Then in June, I start packing - and sorting - and making our guest room sparkle, as we move house on the 15th July !! Yes, we bought a house - we are moving!! And my mom is arriving on the 30th June (followed by my dad a few days later), AND Daniel is away for 2 weeks in June (at the EMA and Cornhill summer school in London - for much needed spiritual food and encouragement). All this while we continue work, small children, fixing up our current house to try and sell it ASAP and ministry - can anyone say HECTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it.

So of course I am over the moon about my parent's pending visit - and I will try yet again to convince them to move here, which will result in a slight laugh and that look they give me, the same one from when I was a child and told them that when I grow up I will change the world and open a chain of orphanages through Africa - but it's worth a shot. Unfortunately we won't yet be in our new house, and our house will be a bit chaotic with some boxes and the work we need to do before we leave - but, it has to be said, one word keeps coming to mind: babysitters!!! while I work - that's if I can actually leave their sides, which I won't !!

We bought the house because ..... well, it's a long story ... there are a few reasons, it's on the same side of town as our farm - which we are going to live on one day (build a house there), and kids go to the school in their area, so Kristin is starting at that school in August, so we want to move into the area now - while we wait to build. We found a sweet, cheap house that I love. I have to move like every 2 years - I get restless, I think I'm addicted to packing boxes. True story. We will be able to make a profit on our current house, as we bought it very cheaply, and we want to pay back some debt and start saving for the building of our final house (I have some years now to prepare myself for not moving again - hopefully the bug will be out of me by then, we have, after all, moved 8 times since we got married, in 3 different counties!! I should have had enough by now!). So those are the reasons in a nut shell. Can't wait to share the pics of our new little place (it's little - I quite like the thought of being able to vacuum your whole house from one plug point) - but that'll be later.

Right now, I have a language to learn - an exam to study for!!! It sucks.

In between it's enjoying friends - one special friend brought me these to celebrate the house:

From my New Zealand friend, Tori - she is utterly awesome!!!

And of course it's normal mom activities - like Saturday morning chocolate chip cookie baking!! I asked them, do you want to do a craft or bake? Baking wins every time!! I'm trying to increase their confidence in it by measuring out all the ingredients first and putting them on the table all ready, then reading out the recipe and they can see what they need, etc ... so they do it themselves as much as possible. Sweet man!

The concentration!!

Of course, I mustn't forget - it was Norway's National Day this week too - here are some pictures, to read some more thoughts on it, here's posts from 2009 and 2010 - can't believe it's our third one!!! Time is flying.

The best way to 'walk' in the parade - on the tractor-pulled trailer!! :)

Some pictures of beautifully dressed Norwegians - the children from Kristin's preschool and their parents.

Sorry you are getting news in bursts at the moment - it will probably be like that through the summer - but I am still here!!!! Love you guys - yes, YOU. :)

pictures of late

2011-05-04T20:35:00.002+02:00

In between washing the house, the clothes, the kids - and then going to another lady's house and washing her and her house too, two days a week - and preparing bible study, looking after the kids, washing them again - even if it's only been 5 minutes (I often wonder how my life got reduced to washing and cleaning - really it is what I do the most, it's the Lord keeping me in my place), this is a bit of what we've been up to:

Walking!!! Our car is broken - that's the chick explanation. It broke. It's at the car hospital. So I have had to haul out those scarcely used things called legs, wipe off the cobwebs, and engage in that prehistoric activity called walking! Compulsory walking. Walking to get somewhere you need to go! Have you heard of it? And a lot of this walking has had to be achieved with the children - which, to be honest, is a big, fat, hairy pain in the butt.

However, the other day, Daniel made it look like, well, like a walk in the park (which it in fact was, well, a forest), when he took over 2 hours to complete a 30 minute walk, because he had the kids and they had fun! Here's the pictures he took.

That's Kristin using her hands to help her smile. Maybe she was that tired.

They were walking from the car workshop back home. Yes, we live in farm country. Not only did I move from South Africa to Norway, but I moved from Urban South Africa to rural Norway - sometimes I am not sure which has been the biggest shock - city life to country life, or Africa to Europe. I actually think that moving from the city to the country has been more of an adjustment - it is just another world. Countries may have different languages and cultures - but that I am used to from South Africa. The country, on the other hand, has a whole different rhythm, a different pulse. I always feel like I am walking too fast, trying desperately to catch up to someone who is not even there.

(I, on the other hand, take the pram in an attempt to get it over and done with as quickly as possible - and put one child on the top, resting on the little sun thing you pull down - which is rather precarious to say the least, and my daughter nervously asked in true Daniel style "Have you tried this before?" while I was putting her on.)

We have also been playing in the traffic - well, the children have with the neighbours - they take all their toys down to the road, because really - a road is so much better than the calm, safe bosom of a garden with soft grass, or the warm comfort of the indoors! I found them there, all her Barbies out, and Kaleb had even carried that bench thing all the way down from our veranda (where I am taking the picture).

One highlight this Easter was having some friends over to celebrate. I roasted lamb for the first time - and it was edible! Always a good thing. I also made unleavened bread, which wasn't really (edible, I mean, not unleavened - it was totally unleavened, flat as cardboard, and about as tasty!).
We read all the appropriate Bible verses from the Old and New Testaments - and acted out being slaves in Egypt as Israelites, with Moses as our rescuer, and then being slaves to sin, with Jesus as our rescuer. The children were bound with string, it was very exciting :) Didn't take too many pictures - was too busy embarrassing myself in Norwegian, like saying "there is guinea pig in that" instead of "there is margarine in that" (the guests were relieved) - but here's two pictures:

Matthew and Ingebeth (Johan and Jorunn and their three kids were also there, but all those photos were mysteriously blurred...)

Here is Kaleb with Phillip giving us a rock concert, which had nothing to do with anything but was cute anyway.

Besides that we have been enjoying the warmer weather
(well, that's an understatement, we have been enjoying weather that can't kill you).

Dan and Kaleb having a moment on the veranda.

And catching up on our theological reading, as you do when you are three .... that is such a Frank face right there :).

"Hmm, not sure I agree. I always believe that soteriology trumps ecclesiology!"

Daddy and Kristin on a date (by Kristin)

2011-04-22T10:50:00.002+02:00

some early spring pictures

2011-04-19T14:40:00.000+02:00

Spring time has arrived !!! Yesterday it was nearly 30 degrees!! So we have been playing on the veranda, cleaning widows (or watching them being cleaned!) .. and the neighbours have come out of hibernation, and so kids are decorating our garden and street like the spring flowers. Just glorious!

10 things about my life right now.

2011-04-13T20:07:00.002+02:00

1. I have a job!!! I get paid to serve another Christian - how cool is that? This job was a real answer to prayer - I prayed so specifically, for a job only 2 days a week, starting at 09:00 (so I can get the kids ready in the morning without stress) and where I will learn and be able to practise Norwegian. Well, this job is from 9 to 3 two days a week, and it involves looking after a lady with motor neuron disease, as a result she is lame (arms and legs) and I am her hands and feet for her - helping her with her personal stuff, getting her ready and helping with housework and cooking. And she speaks and understands NO English - which was a scary thought, since she is so dependent on me, but also just what I need - and thankfully it has worked out that I in fact can speak and understand a lot more Norwegian than I thought.

2. Since working at this job I am a lot more thankful for the use of my limbs, and have been greatly disturbed by the presence of motor neuron disease in the world. The connections between the brain and the muscles die, and it gets worse and worse. Some people die quickly, because the connections to the lungs, etc go first, but for others the disease takes a long time, as they lose movement first in the hands and feet and limbs. It does not affect their minds and they can still feel. The lady I work with can still move her one hand - but that will one day suddenly go, making her unable to sign or write or signal at all. It will eventually affect her tongue - also a muscle - so she will be unable to speak, unable to communicate even though her mind is fine and she still feels - trapped in a useless body. The thought is just unbearable, and I have to keep fighting it off when I am working with her - I just want to cry. I can't wait to see her run to Jesus in the new creation, where He will wipe away every tear. It is so hard waiting, waiting for a new world with no more pain and suffering. But the Bible tells us it is because God is patient, wanting people to turn to Him and repent so that they too can be there in the new creation.

3. We went to a birthday party last weekend, held at the family's cabin. It was awesome! I was a bit concerned that maybe they would do something physically exerting - by Norwegian standards, the Olympics by my standards - but they didn't. Instead we sat around and ate - something I am rather a pro at.

That's the cabin.

That's it's view.

Kaleb enjoying the place.

And those are the Norwegian children, gravitating towards the one, single, little pile of snow that's left. Will I ever understand these people?

4. Daniel's cousin Petter is in the army here - and he says their food gets delivered to them in boxes, and on the side is written: "Can also be used to feed humans." Doesn't really whet the appetite. He is planning to study theology down in South Africa - watch this space!

5. We have started an evening service, which gets between 5 and 0 (yes, 0, that's not a typo!) people each Sunday. On good days it can be discouraging... But my brother reminded us of a great passage in 2 Corinthians 4. We are giving it a go, it may not be one of the good works God has prepared in advance for us to do here, but then again, it might be. Watch this space also - with your other eyeball.

6. I have recently met a lady here who has adopted a little Xhosa baby from Cape Town. I have felt a strange sense of ownership over the child, and have felt a distinct urge to take him home with me.

7. Another lady has joined my English bible study group, she is from the west African country of Togo, and has brought such an uplifting and inspiring energy into the group.

8. I went to a play last night, a high school musical about the 60s - and it confirmed my suspicions that Norwegians are over achievers, and all of them can sing. Just about every teenager, no matter how 'out of it' they looked, sounded like an angel when they opened their mouth. It is as if singing was essential to the survival of the fittest through the long winters, maybe it was - maybe those who couldn't sing died of boredom before modern entertainment. It was fantastic.

9. Kaleb was a dog in his Easter play. I mean, what is an Easter play without a dog? And there you have it.

10. There are 5 children at Kristin's preschool, 3 of them are girls - and they are good friends:

This child is becoming more and more Norwegian - speaking the language without an accent, loving the outdoors, and in so many other ways (like asking "Mum, what's a 'braai'" and digging holes in the snow to play in).

So those are some snippets of our lives at the moment. I miss you so so much mom and dad. We all do.

My first haircut in Norway

2011-04-02T14:42:00.001+02:00

The other day I took a new step - I had my first haircut here in Norway. It has been a little over 2 years, and I have had my hair done when I've gone home. But I figured, that I simply cannot keep going to South Africa to have my hair cut - it does price the cut way out of our budget!

It's just that, when it comes to placing yourself in a vulnerable situation - like moving to a foreign country - which includes the disability of not being able to talk or understand - there are certain situations that are just inconceivable - like going to the gynea, and the hairdresser. It was when I was last in South Africa, having my gynea appointments being characteristically cancelled and rescheduled, by my over committed gynea, I realised that it was time to move a little more to Norway. Because moving is a process, the physical moving of your physical body from one place to another is only a small part of it - there are all the unseen bits - like your heart and mind and will - that sometimes stay behind, or go to and fro for awhile, until you feel quite disoriented and the phrase 'pull yourself together' takes on a whole new meaning.

So who would have thought that a trip to the hairdresser would be such a psychological milestone - but it has been. The thought of not being able to communicate with the person who has a pair of scissors in one hand, and your hair in the other was just too much for me. And it would have remained so, if I hadn't got a call this week asking if I would please help my neighbour, from Thailand, who is studying to be a hairdresser, and who needs people to practice on.

I thought for a moment - going to a hairdresser in Norway, with someone who is also learning Norwegian (but can't speak any English at all), and who is practising. And then I said yes. Because it's just hair, it grows back, and I want to help my neighbour whom I am befriending, and - really - actually - I was ready.

So I go there and we communicate, and she begs me to cut a fringe, to which I agree, and we talk and it's all fine. Then, after half an hour of cutting, her boss comes over and says - in Norwegian of course, because that's where I live, so that's what I should expect - NO NO, that's wrong!!!! I understood that. And then she started rattling off something to me in Norwegian (she thought I was Norwegian) and I was too scared to say, 'I am awfully sorry, but I am in fact a foreigner, would you please be so kind as to repeat yourself slower, clearer and as if I am a small child?' so I just stared at her, with wet hair looking like a drowned rat, and big eyes and nodded and smiled while remembering why it has taken me over 2 years to go to the hairdresser in a foreign country.

Then she cut some of my hair, and my friend cut some, and they talked and talked - and there was another lady there, a refugee from some other country - and I just closed my eyes and sang along to Sting, that was playing on the radio, and was in English - and I wondered why anyone bothers to speak any other language other than English - after all, all the greatest songs are in English - and then I opened them and my hair was - great! After over an hour of my friend carefully and slowly practising her new craft it was a success.

On my way out, the boss ran after me with a pair of scissors and cut here and there while I was putting on my jacket, babbling away in Norwegian (she still thought I was a rather rude, uncommunicative Norwegian) and I went home.

There. I did it. Another milestone in Norway.

A dance in the sky

2011-03-30T19:45:00.000+02:00

Northern Norway can be very hard - of course it is not as warm as where we are in the South, and there are months of darkness. Complete darkness. But no place is without it's special wonder. It seems that there is always a magnificent natural compensation in every difficult place - the fingerprints of God are all over the world - and it is no surprise that when the Creator is glorious beyond imagination - His creation will reflect that.

Well, I have never seen the northern lights (although they were seen even down here this last winter, but not by me, because they happen at night - when I sleep!) But my one Norwegian friend here has lived up north for some years and she said that during the winter they come nearly every night - and they dance! They literally dance all over the sky, the movement is dynamic and the colours are intense. She had this video on facebook - and she said that it doesn't even capture the richness of it. This is definitely a sight worth seeing first hand.

In The Land Of The Northern Lights from Ole Christian Salomonsen on Vimeo.

pictures of the kids

2011-03-26T08:05:00.001+01:00

The one loves anything with wheels ...

the other adores animals.

Sweet potato puff - give your taste buds a party

2011-03-23T17:26:00.005+01:00

It is with great joy that I enrich your lives with this recipe - a vegetable prepared the way it was intended to be - with sugar and butter and nuts. Can I hear an Amen!!! This recipe has to be American - and it is.

The main ingredient is still sweet potato - but it is made so much better, and it would be mistaken as a dessert, except for the fact that it is served with the main meal. It is one of my most successful ways of getting people to like me - alternatively you could shower them with gifts, or compliments ... or just throw your arms around them and beg them to be your friend. But I have found that this recipe has more lasting effects.

The first time I was served this, it was a friend's house. I had about 15 helpings of this "vegetable", and had no room for dessert. She never invited me back. But I will love her until my dying day. See how well it works. But I'll save my issues for another time.

This dish is great to serve with something a little bland, like broccoli - not that I am discriminating against broccoli. That is just uncalled for. It also goes nicely with meat like pork, that needs something sweet on the side. Just remember not to eat too much, because then you will have no room for dessert.

3 cups cold mashed sweet potatoes (without adding milk or butter)
½ cup sugar
½ cup butter or marg. (Melted)
2 eggs beaten
1/3 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla essence
½ cup dessicated coconut
1/4 cup all purpose flour

In a mixing bowl, beat sweet potato, sugar, butter, eggs, flour, milk and vanilla until fluffy. Stir in coconut and spoon into a greased baking dish.

Topping
½ cup packed brown sugar
½ cup chopped pecan nuts or walnuts
2 tsps butter or marg. (Melted)

Combine topping ingredients until well blended, sprinkle over sweet potatoes. Bake uncovered at 180 C for 35-40min

So there you have it. It is truly glorious. I hope you don't mind if I have a taste, just to check if it's ok. It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it. And that's just me, doing the dirty jobs. Really, you could do with me as a friend.

some family moments

2011-03-23T16:01:00.002+01:00

Eating left over chocolate cake.

Drinking coconut milk out of a coconut.

Lemon and Poppy seed Cake - don't go away, this one is good!

2011-03-21T13:17:00.008+01:00

Now, first of all, you have to forget all you've ever known about lemon and poppy seed - the dry, suspiciously yellow muffins that are available to the general public. This is nothing like that. First of all, it's an edible colour, secondly it is moist - that is guaranteed, and thirdly the taste is unparalleled - a sweet and sour arrangement, the odd crunch of a poppy seed and the after taste of almond essence. So there you have it. Make it, people.

It has to be said that it is rather dense, so it is best to make it in a bunt form, otherwise you may have trouble getting it to cook all the way through. Alternatively you can divide up the batter amongst smaller baking tins.

Can you see that moisture? It's because you actually pour over the sauce at the end - very easy and simple, don't be scared off!

My mom in law got this recipe from a young girl with the same name as me.

Well, actually it's not exactly the same name. Her name is Deborah, my parents were going to name me Deborah and then just call me Debby.

But then my Gran was all like, 'If you are going to call her Debby, then why don't you just name her Debby?'

She was very practical my Gran. (Sorry I know it's rude to talk with your mouth full, but I just can't help it. You will understand when you make this cake.) Yes, my Gran was the one who took me aside when I was engaged to Daniel and advised me to elope.

She didn't want my mother to have the hassle of organising a wedding. She said, 'your mother has too much on her plate, just elope and then it will all be done without any fuss.'

That was my Gran for you. Down to earth and such a hoot.

Don't ask me how I got onto that subject. Too much poppy seed. Anyway, before I reveal any more random family secrets, here's the recipe. Enjoy!!!!

(1 cup = 250ml)

2 cups sugar
3 eggs
1 cup oil
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp almond essence
3 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3 heaped tsp poppyseed
2 cups milk

Mix sugar, eggs in large bowl. Beat well. Add oil, vanilla and almond essence. Beat well. Sift together dry ingredients. Add alternately with milk to creamy mixture. Beat well after each addition. Cook in well greased bunt pan for 45mins - 1 hour at 180 C

Glaze
½ cup citrus juice (lemon best)
½ cup sugar
1/3 cup water (only if using undiluted citrus juice)
½ tsp vanilla essence
1 tsp almond essence

Add in a saucepan and bring to the boil. Pour glaze over when cake is still warm. Eat and then wait for the sun to shine brighter!

My mom in law's birthday

2011-03-21T10:28:00.012+01:00

It's early spring, the sun is daring to shine brighter, longer and warmer. It's stretching it's fingers slowly and steadily back into our lounges and under our skin. I cannot wait to have bare feet on the grass again! It has been MONTHS.

Early spring also brings my dear mom in law's birthday. Yesterday we celebrated her, and there is much to celebrate. She is a profound blessing to all who know her. She is gentle and kind and wise and patient and so strong - physically, emotionally and spiritually strong. She has added so much to my understanding of the Lord and what it means to be a woman. I have grown under her influence.

Yesterday it was such fun to have the opportunity to serve her for a change - she is always so busy serving her family. So we had the family around for a birthday lunch, and then birthday tea afterwards with some friends. It was a very happy time.

The starter: bacon, avo and feta cheese on lettuce. YUM.

The dessert. Now this I have to share. I found the perfect spring time dessert, that is so easy, and delicious and fancy looking:

A pot plant dessert. Now, you are supposed to use real pots - those brownish ceramic ones, but our little town does not have them. So, those cups had to do. But the idea is the same: you layer a pot with anything you want - as long as the first layer is firm - I put chocolate cake at the bottom, then berries, then ice cream (needs to be a little melted), then - and here is the dirt trick - crushed Oreo biscuits - looks just like soil, and you stick a firm stemmed flower in the middle. Alternately you can use a straw, put all the goodies around the straw, and use a daisy, making sure the straw is covered by 'earth' - and you can even put a few gum worms in for effect. I didn't do that. We were much too grown up for such things.

So there they are, the table is transformed into a delicious flower garden!

Then, with some help from excited grandchildren, it was time to open presents. What kind of present would a 58 year old, Norwegian lady want do you think?

Hand cream?

No! Those ...... things ...

that look rather lethal ....

Snow boots. For those of you who, like me, have grown to adulthood without seeing snow, you would not be aware that you sink. You totally sink when you walk on snow, which is why they needed skis before cars - although cars get stuck anyway, as I've found out - so I think they should have rather kept skiing. It is a big, fat, hairy impossibility to walk on snow. Which is why such a present is welcome up here in the North-flippen-Pole.

Marit and Anna - snow walking.

Then it was time for cake! Here are my happy helpers. Daniel's cousin and my kids decorating some cakes.

What would the world be without big cousins to help you create your very own cream and jam ...

.... blobs.

"Happy birthday to you....."

Now that cake .... people, if you have not tasted this cake, your taste buds have not come of age. If you do not have this recipe, I need to grab you from your miserable life, by the scruff of your neck, without delay, and give it to you ... in the next post. It is quite simply out of this world.

And so we all had a ball. Yes the food was great (really, all the glory goes to Jamie Oliver), yes the present was appropriately Norwegian (really, if someone gives me snow boots when I turn 58 they may just be leaving my house wearing them - as a hat .... although, by then maybe I will be appropriately Norwegian too), and yes the cake was the kind that makes all your fears melt away and all your grudges disappear, but the real reason why we had such a ball was because the lady we were celebrating is one who makes love, happiness and blessing tangible for you.

We love you mommy Marit!!

Taking our relationship to the next level

2011-03-17T09:30:00.003+01:00

When there is not much blog activity it is usually because I am going through something ... something big and emotional.

The other day Daniel came home with this ... branch thing, that has a special Norwegian name that I won't even try to pronounce, or spell - and he tapped me on my bottom with it. True story. It's a Norwegian tradition apparently, it guarantees fertility! Then he told me to put them in a vase of water. A bunch of sticks! With feathers on them - which by the way were plucked from real, live, pooping chickens! - why the heck should I put this in water - AND not sure if we are ready to guarantee further fertility right now. But, when in Rome - or should I say Norway - so I did.

(This story has a point at the end, so stay with me.)

So I have been going through something big and emotional. No one around me would know, except Daniel, a consistent help and support, who listens sympathetically then tells me to repent and believe the gospel (gotta love godly husbands). Well, this is me at regular intervals - I wake up through the night, jaw clenched, teeth being ground to dust, every muscle tense, hands in fists, heart beating rapidly. Most morning I have a splitting headache. Wouldn't you? When I pray I end up crying. Kaleb often asks me, 'why are you concerned?' I do most of my duties on autopilot, going somewhere else in my mind. My mind is so crowded with so much stuff - unimportant stuff, potential problems to worry about - that I am often distracted and inattentive.

Not exactly the picture of a person who has a personal relationship with the God of the universe, who tells the sea 'here and no further' ... and my prayers are no better, they go something like 'You just do whatever you want anyway!!!'

And we're supposed to be joyful.

And content.

And at peace.

The Lord has shown me - because in His great kindness He not only notices a lump of dust having a microscopic tantrum, He reaches down and guides - so He has shown me that there is a fundamental element missing in my Christian life, which is causing this deep anxiety and tension. I am not loving God.

I had a light bulb moment the other day, while listening to an on-line sermon and the preacher quoted Jonathan Edwards. He was talking to Christians struggling with persistent sin, struggling to keep God's life saving commandments. He said obeying the first two commandments frees us up to obey the rest. Love God. You want to stop lying, for example, love God.

Because if we are not worshipping and obsessing about God, then we are worshipping and obsessing about someone or something else. We were created to worship and obsess. When we are not doing that with God, then we have some or other idol that has our affections, and that causes us to sin. He said the opposite of Christianity is not atheism, it's idolatry. We are worshipping beings. The question is: who or what are we worshipping? And we will make sacrifices for that person or thing or experience or state of being or whatever.

So, during this silence, I have been thinking through my life, my motivations, my reasons for doing things, my interaction with God - and I realised how little I love Him. How little I am consumed with Him, obsessed with Him, think about Him, ponder on what He has said, delight in Him, thank Him and so on. And every struggle in my life, every doubt, every stubborn sin that won't go, every problem can be linked back to this problem.

For example, anxiety is a classic symptom of idolatry - because who or what is as powerful as God? And when we replace Him we get insecure, because we know deep down that this person or thing or state or whatever cannot protect us and keep us and provide for us and love us like God Almighty!

My sister in law Lillibet, not sure if she will read this, has been a huge help to me in my Christian walk - she will never know how much this side of heaven. And one of the reasons why is because she is not scared to point out my sin to me. Such a friend is a treasure. And this last holiday in South Africa, when I was pouring out my woes to her, about my struggles in motherhood, where it seemed to me that I was just a victim of sinful children, she helped me to see that my pain and struggles where due to an idol, that I was trying to worship but that was disappointing me. She encouraged me to look inside and identify my idol. Yes, it is hard raising sinners in a fallen world - but if God is in His rightful place on the throne in my life those hardships are felt and experienced in such a different way.

So there has been a lot to rethink - I am still wrestling with God, because the truth be told I just don't want to always love Him like that. It is lonely. It is humbling - because I always need to be taking myself off the throne, and I have grown rather accustomed to that seat in the house. And although it should remove all fear, and I think it will in time, at the moment it is really, really scary. Because even though I know that I have absolutely no control over the future or my life, I am really good at pretending I do, and it gives me momentary relief from fear. I have to let go of instant relief in order to get hold of life long peace.

So I am working on falling in love with God. Training my mind, which will renew me, and change my heart, which will affect my emotions so that He is my everything, so all consuming, so wonderful to me - and then the other things will fade. To actually do this, well, it is by God's grace alone, so at the start my prayers have certainly changed. I pray for this, then work towards it, and allow the love affair to begin. And already I can notice a fundamental change, as I have begun to relax, I've realised afresh that His arms where carrying me all this time.

So there has been a sort of internal, spiritual heaviness - but it is followed by a lightness. And my environment has so adequately reflected my internal state - the arrival of spring, the melting of stubborn ice and the expectation of something new. The beginning of spring is hard, it is ugly and the roads are all uneven, with some parts just wet tar, while other parts lumps of ice, and the grass is coming but it is brown and ugly - and yet the expectation in the air injects me with energy.

It's winter but summer is coming.

And suddenly, overnight, the weird stick with stinky feathers suddenly burst into life, as if to say: it may look like an old, dry stick to you but God is working His magic out of sight. Just wait and you will see it.

And so that's what I have been grappling with, and learning, this last month.

staying home

2011-03-04T07:57:00.004+01:00

I haven't written for awhile now. Illness has prevented me from sitting at my computer, and sometimes the house needs to be cleaned, occasionally some clothes washed ... oh and the ever important dancing through the house to Freshlyground in nothing but my Long Johns. But I am back.

Last week we had our winter holidays, and it was a much needed break for us. The weather is so lovely here in February, with bright blue skies and mountains of snow all around. The only pictures I took, however, were of the day we stayed indoors. There comes a time in everyone's life where they need a days break from wearing woollen Long Johns, and this was our day. (Oh the wondrous joy of cotton!)

We also lit some candles and baked some cupcakes ...

And of course, cupcakes taste twice as good when they are shared. So we had some friends over too.

So there it is, a day in the life of us during our winter holiday.

Of ice fishing and other Norwegian stuff

2011-02-22T11:05:00.009+01:00

Well, we have been busy living in Norway, learning Norwegian, and doing Norwegian things. Kaleb and I have gone to the library to get Norwegian books out. The kids go off to their Norwegian preschools - and come back with more and more Norwegian words, and slightly more broken English. Kristin now regularly says things like 'I only have two again' instead of 'I only have two left' (in Norwegian they use the word again instead of left in that context), and 'I have missed my doll's one shoe!' instead of 'I have lost my dolls one shoe' (again in Norwegian missed means lost). I find myself correcting more and more of her English - I will not have my child speaking English like an English second language speaker (which is absolutely fine if you are in fact an English second language speaker: then you are clever). If you are my child, English is your first language so speak like it.

They have learnt an ABC song in Norwegian ... "ABC så lett som bare DEF ...". Which is fine, but I am making sure they know the English one too.

Kristin is now a little pro on skis. She showed us how she does it this weekend, and off she went, as if she was walking. Kaleb asked us if he could give it a go too, his first time ever on skis, and off he went with no problem. They were skiing out on the road, in front of our house. I don't know if I was more surprised at the fact that my kids were skiing, or that the road outside my house was so iced over that one could just ski down it. Perhaps both were equally strong reminders that I am in fact living in Norway.

Then there was the family outing this weekend: Daniel and the kids went with our family to go ice fishing (pilke). They came back with huge grins, proclaiming that Kaleb loved it, and stood for ages over the little hole in the ice, waiting for the fish to bite. So that confirms it then. They are Norwegians. My children are now skiing ice-fishing Norwegian-speakers. And I am being left in the dust (sometimes by choice I might add, like with the ice fishing, I totally stayed at home. Wouldn't you?)

The ice fishing spot.

The hole. (Aren't you glad I explained that one.)

The big red screw thing that made the hole.

A fish, which in fact was not caught - no one caught any fish. That one was just lying on the ice.

My husband, the half Norwegian who started it all. That is, the Norwegianisation of his family.

I have always referred to Norwegians as 'they' when talking to my kids, and now I am wondering if that is such a good idea - as they are indeed fast becoming a part of the 'they'. South Africans are now, in fact, the others. In South Africa they do that, whereas here in Norway we do it like this. It may seem weird but I do need to keep reminding myself that I do in fact live in Norway, with Norwegians, and I am fast acquiring Norwegian children - not South African children. Sometimes I stress about that, other times I just choose to not think about it. Those are my options, not because I don't want them to be Norwegian, or don't want to live here, but because I don't want my children to belong to and identify with a group that is different from me.

But to end, it must be said, that we still do engage in more 'normal' activities - I use that term very relatively these days. Here is Kaleb going on a dad date, in the bus with Daniel.

Their destination.

Life will continue to play out as usual, just against a very different backdrop. And, hopefully, soon that backdrop will become so familiar to me that I will stop noticing it.

Deeper into the language pit

2011-02-15T16:40:00.005+01:00

My head is one big cloud of fog, and no, that's not normal for me - even though it may at times seem like it. My head seems to be somewhere else lately. It is in survival mode - it is in language-learning survival mode. And that is my diagnosis, or excuse - and I'm sticking to it - the prognosis however remains to be seen.

We do have an incredible ability to survive, don't we? And I have discovered since moving here that once I have reached a level of survival - the need to survive does not stop, it just becomes more sophisticated. And so keeping my head above water here seems just never ending.

So now that I can be understood when speaking simple Norwegian, I am finding that a deeper, more thorough grasp of the language is immediately necessary. So I can ask where the toilet is, I can order a waffle and cup of coffee with ease (which by the way you simply must do if ever you are here - Norwegian waffles are just out of this world) - but now I am eating that waffle with a Norwegian friend, who is freely chatting away in her native tongue, and so now there are deeper levels of interaction that are needed, involving the asking and answering of tricky questions about delicate subjects. It requires a lot of words, and concentration and adrenaline even. A lot of survival skills. And it leaves me absolutely exhausted.

For example, the bible study group I run, in English, has in the last couple of weeks suddenly become Norwegian. It started with the informal stuff being in Norwegian - because now I can handle that. But then more and more Norwegian came into the study itself - and then last week one of the ladies asked a very important question: why does Jesus seem to keep saying 'do this, or don't do that, or you will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.' - opening up a discussion about the law, a very important discussion for her understanding of the gospel, and a very sensitive one due to her particular background. I tried and tried to continue speaking Norwegian (as she asked the question in Norwegian) but then asked if I could switch to English as I couldn't explain it in Norwegian, to which she replied: 'No, I can't understand English.'

And there you have it, I was just getting comfortable with 'can I have milk with my coffee' when suddenly I am thrust into 'explain Jesus' handling of the law'. No ways people, will I ever get some rest? You see, that is the nature of being thrust into a situation like I have - into a different language, you can never stop for a pause, look back with satisfaction and say to yourself 'what a long way I've come, how wonderful, I think I will rest my weary head for a time' - because life itself, especially a life of gospel work, is forever pushing you on, on and on, there is a constant stream of new words to learn, new situations to decode and truths to explain. It is relentless.

So I actually feel exactly the same as I felt when I first moved here. When I first moved here 2 years ago I didn't know any Norwegian - I was always being stretched with new words and I struggled to say simple things. Now, 2 years on I can speak much more Norwegian, but I am always being stretched with new words and struggling to say, now, slightly more complicated things. And so it will be for years and years. It's a good thing it isn't discouraging, or demotivating, or disheartening, or debilitating, or a down right big, fat, hairy pain in the butt!!

My Mom (by Daniel)

2011-02-13T19:56:00.006+01:00

My Mom is amazing.

She is a woman among women, a paragon of what women should be. "Follow me as I follow Christ," she can rightly say.

My Mom has strength of character, but a gentle and patient spirit. She always looks for the good in people (and goes more than the extra mile) - but is not easily taken in by charlatans.

My Mom is a brilliant cook and baker, but thinks she isn't!

My Mom has beauty in abundance - external, for sure, even though she's a granny! - but more importantly internal. Her beauty flows out from within, from her love for the Lord Jesus, and her certain hope and trust in Him.

My Mom is a brilliant wife - always willing to serve, submitting cheerfully to my Dad's leadership, honouring him, respecting him, and sharing her copious wisdom with him - because she loves Jesus. Every wife and mother should follow her lead, learn from her example.

My Mom loves Jesus, and loves listening to his voice in the Bible. Mom is always reading, always wanting to learn more. She is never on her high horse saying "this is my wisdom" but is always humble, always learning.

My Mom is a strong woman, frightfully intelligent, amazingly beautiful, wonderfully gifted - which is generally in the world a recipe for pride and arrogance and hardness... but she loves the lord Jesus, ever grateful for what He has done for her, and so uses her strength to serve, her intelligence to uplift, her beauty to inspire, her gifts to help others.

Mom, you are amazing. I love you and am proud to be your son.

Happy Mothers Day to an AMAZING mother. Best in the world (and university!). :-)

Happy birthday to the first man who stole my heart

2011-02-07T17:27:00.004+01:00

Right now, I am at home, Daniel is working late, and I am warming up stew for dinner that I know the kids won't like - it''ll be a battle. Down in South Africa my family are gathered - at the Cape Town Fish Market - celebrating my dad's 69th birthday.

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

I am feeling a mixture of highs and lows up here. So so sad to not be with them. Pining for my dad. A sense of loss, that I am no longer a part of their everyday lives, no longer walking side by side with them through the ordinary and the familiar. But also so so grateful and joyful that the Lord gave me my dad as a dad. It is a great privilege and honour to be his daughter, and I thank God for him.

While waiting for the stew I've been reading an interview with him, in the Today magazine. The last question they asked him was: How would you like to be remembered?

He said: "I do not think many people are remembered significantly for too long after they are gone, but if there is any memory I leave behind, I hope it will be something that speaks of the grace of God in my life. By that I am not referring to anything I have done for Christ, because many people accomplish much more for the Kingdom of God, but rather what He has done for me. He died for me, saved me, used me for a while, then took me home to be with Him."

And that answer was not just a public response, I will never forget at the age of 15 asking him what he would like me to say about him at his funeral, he said, "talk about Jesus, not me."

Not that we need to think too much about him leaving us - he is still very much alive and more active than ever for the Lord. But the way in which he answered these two questions has reminded me again of his gospel centredness and eternal perspective. And it has warmed my aching heart - because it has given me some perspective in my homesickness. We live for what Jesus has done. And when we die, we will keep on living because of what Jesus has done.

So today I celebrate my dad, Christ's work in his life, and in mine.

planes, trains and ... a boat

2011-02-04T09:20:00.002+01:00

Well, this last week - between last Wednesday and the Wednesday just passed - has been rather hectic! Nice hectic. Within the week I went to two other countries and took every form of legitimate transport known to man - legitimate as in the forms that require no physical exertion whatsoever, ruling out cycling and skiing...

Last Wednesday Daniel and I went to England to attend a conference, with the Reverend Professor Doctor Don Carson (he told us that in China he isn't called anything less than Reverend Professor Doctor Carson, whereas in Australia every 10 year old calls him Don). Don Carson is one of the greatest theologians of our time - a lecturer at a theological college in Chicago, author of numerous books, and contributions to such things as the New Bible Dictionary, and world renowned speaker - we shared accommodation with him for the duration of our time there and he was a brilliant picture of true Christian greatness - he was humble and other person centred. He interacted with the children in the home, he took a genuine and deliberate interest in us, he answered questions thoughtfully and was considerate and gentle - and never pushed himself forward in conversation. Through finding out a bit more about his personal life we discovered that he lives the life of a servant in his home as well. True greatness. And we are changed, meeting him and spending time with him has altered us.

His talks were equally edifying and life changing. He spoke about building the church, from various bible passages over the two days. What struck me the most was his focus on the gospel, he spend most of the time either explaining it or talking about it, and its importance. There was no '7 steps to church growth' ... it was: 'get excited about the gospel .... or leave'. Anyone in Christian ministry who is not excited about the gospel of Jesus Christ - the person Jesus who is God and His saving work on the cross for us - will do more damage than good.

We headed home, straight from the conference, with full hearts and spinning heads. We rolled in at midnight on Saturday night, twirled and whirled our way through Sunday with our family and clingy kids, and at 7:30am on Monday morning I was sitting on a train, heading for a town just over an hour away to write an exam - a Norwegian exam. I was too tired to be nervous. I had to fight my feelings of despair the whole day - because I am still so far from where I need to be in my grasp of this language - the work ahead lies before me like a never ending path layered with burning hot coals - if I stop for a moment my feet will get burnt - I have to just keep on walking no matter how tired I am. My husband is building a ministry in this language. My children are being educated and socialised in this language. All future pursuits - work, ministry, friendships - are in this language. It is an insurmountable necessity - an undoable must - an inevitable impossibility. In other words, I have to do it, I'm going to do it, but I can't do it. It is a big, fat, hairy paradoxical dilemma. And - not unlike my thighs - the less attention I give it, the bigger and hairier it becomes!

So those were the thoughts that were weighing me down on the train ride there and back - over a dramatic valley, pressed against the icy waters edge, and through vast, white farmlands (including our own farm) - what a beautiful land! - but it comes in another language.

Tuesday came and went in a blur of household drudgery, but early Wednesday saw us driving down to the coast, to hop onto a boat to Sweden! It was a late anniversary date - and relatively affordable. It was marvellous! To Sweden and back again in one day - with the kids once again left with their, by now I am sure, bedraggled grandparents.

There's the boat - rather grand.

The biggest delight - besides being with Daniel of course - was the Buffet, that we indulged in both there and back. We ate our way to Sweden and back again. Daniel is my first love, but really food comes a close second - and Buffets are heaven for me! And what was really cool about this one, is that it catered not only for their Norwegian clientèle - but the British as well. Do you know what that meant? It meant we could walk purposefully past the bread and various boiled/steamed/funny looking fish toppings - with gherkins, beetroot and - this is scandalous - SALAD - for breakfast - straight to the eggs, bacon and sausage, joining the others whose cholesterol was clearly not a concern that kept them awake at night (although, indigestion might!).

Excitement is!

My brother Bruce, who shares our love of Buffets, has come up with a set of very helpful Buffet rules to help you negotiate your way through culinary heaven, in a way that ensures maximum gain.

1) Take no starch - unless it is very good and special. Under no circumstances must you eat bread - that just fills you up and you can have that at home.

2) If you bite into something and don't like it, leave it - don't waste precious stomach space - if possible remove the half masticated piece from your mouth.

3) Don't let one dish take up more than a quarter of your plate - you are missing out!

4) Eat really quickly - that way you can get as much in as possible before you feel full. (As I was finishing off my second helping, Daniel looked at me with amazement and said 'Debby, we've only been on the boat for 20 minutes!' True story.)

My brother would have been proud!

We also took in the view, which was awesome!

Little wooden houses on little Islands - truly magical.

The vast sky - always a perspective check!

We had 4 hours to kill in the little Swedish town of Stømstad before taking the boat back. We spent it walking through the town - and it was a very good time, for more than just our digestion!

We walked up and down quaint little streets, sat on quaint little benches and saw quaint little shops. It wasn't unlike Norway, except for the eerie feeling of emptiness, like the whole country were gathered somewhere else celebrating the king's birthday or something. There just weren't any people, and it has double the population of Norway (8 million). But we didn't mind, we were too lost in each other's arms and eyes, and swollen bellies.

It was such a nice time with Daniel. We love each other's company. We spoke about all sorts of things - from serious things like adopting, me working, and the desperate state of the church - to small things like the size of Daniel's hat, and we thought over our lives spent together, the defining moments, the hard work marriage is, and yet the joy of it, the dimension our kids have added - and how huge Kaleb was when he was born! And we had to come to the conclusion that God gets all the glory - and we get to keep working, for the next 11 years, and beyond. Working at the big things like avoiding sexual temptation and self worship, and the little things, the daily decisions, thousands of decisions that make up our daily relating - like the way we answer, and the way we listen, like enjoying each other rather than criticising each other.

Our motto remains: Work your guts out and God will do it all.

So that was my busy week - and I've been recovering ever since! Hence the late blog post (sorry mom!). And now it's back into the swing of daily life serving Jesus, while He does the real work.

Hanging at home

2011-02-03T19:32:00.001+01:00

(mom, Kaleb is watching that movie thing you gave him for Christmas, that came with the book. The long winter evenings are perfect for that kind of thing - thank you. Missing you.)

Frozen snow flakes on my windscreen

2011-01-28T05:00:00.003+01:00

Family dinner

2011-01-27T05:00:00.001+01:00

It happens once a week.

Serious theological discussions can happen.

Lots of loving most certainly will happen.

And laughter is inevitable - but I don't have any pictures of that, I'm too busy laughing. :)

Breaking the ginger bread house

2011-01-26T05:00:00.000+01:00

The tradition that follows the making of the ginger bread house, is the breaking of the ginger bread house.

Here is our little house. Yes, it is rather bare. We didn't ice it or decorate it. In fact, we forgot about it, on the top of my mom in law's fridge. But that doesn't mean we can't break it and eat it all up! Which is what we did last family dinner ......

The kids are becoming excellent gingerbread house breakers - I am so relieved we are equipping them with such essential life skills.

Bash! Bash! Bash! You know, the English word 'bash' means poo in Norwegian - said in exactly the same way (but spelt differently, which you mustn't expect me to do, Norwegian is far too straight-forward to spell, I am after all English speaking - and so keep wanting to throw in a p or u or gh or something else random and silent in the middle of the word). Anyway, so in English 'bash' means both crash or smash and a party or function. So you can imagine the amount of times I've received slightly raised eye-brows from Norwegians (their equivalent of WHAT THE HECK???) when I've said things like 'let's get together and have a bash this weekend!'

And so the next tradition can commence, the one that follows gingerbread bashing - gingerbread eating! My favourite! And Kaleb's too - in fact he has nailed this tradition. Can't you just feel my pride?

Saturday afternoon: a game of 'snap' with dad

2011-01-25T05:00:00.001+01:00

winter framed ....

2011-01-24T05:00:00.000+01:00

As I have been driving around my little town, I have been absolutely astounded at the beauty that surrounds me. There is without a doubt nothing like a winter landscape. It is breathtaking, captivating ... so completely unbelievably beautiful - like walking through a picture book from another world. Anyone want to come visit?

I have been taking my camera with me as I've gone here and there, but it has never been the right moment to stop - not too sure the people driving behind me would be too pleased ... and I just don't know where to start to take pictures of the beauty that surrounds me, but then, in a moment of brilliance, I went through my dad in law's pictures, taken here were we live. He is a very talented photographer - so I'm just going to use his pictures once again to give you some idea of what I am surrounded with every day.

I live in one, big, powerful song: TO GOD BE THE GLORY, TO GOD BE THE GLORY, TO GOD BE THE GLORY - that is what the creation around me sings.

If winter were a tree ....

The farm house on our farm ...

The stabbur on our farm (traditional store house)

A neighbouring house.

And, winter isn't just a pretty face, it is fun too!
Here are some pictures of our family sledding here on our family farm:

That's my Viking mom in law:

Wonderful! You would have that expression too if you lived here, and if you had a spirit like hers - she is the picture of contentment, my dad in law says that she even smiles in her sleep. She personifies peaceful rest in the Lord.

Thanks Jack for these pictures - keep up the good work!! hehe

11 years ago today, we were married.

2011-01-22T07:29:00.007+01:00

Here we are, the day our family began...

I've actually written a lot about marriage on this blog, sharing lessons I've learnt - sometimes really hard lessons, as we've lived out these last 11 years, you can read about it here, and here, and here, and here and there too .....

This year, one verse stands out for me:

"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed .... continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Philippians 2:12+13

This is one of my favourite verses, because it emphasises both sides of the coin, the paradox: work your guts out and God will do it all. Work out your salvation, and it will be God who works.

And that is exactly what we have found. From our point of view we have sweated and struggled, working with all our might to keep our marriage going - it takes a real robust work ethic - striving everyday to fight our sinfulness. But, in the end it has been God who has done all the work, keeping us loving, keeping us focused and weaving us together in the supernatural way He does.

As Daniel and I have gone along the road of marriage, with so many marriages crashing down around us, we have been greatly humbled. Humbled because we are so keenly aware of our own sin and dependence on the Lord, and it really is only by God's grace that we can stand here today happily married. In fact, the sovereign control that God has over our lives has been a source of great comfort to us as we have ridden the sometimes stormy and sometimes calm seas of married life.

It has been the Lord and Him alone who has kept us godly enough to be loving and serving each other for this long. I would love to take the credit, and my wonderful man almost could, but if we were honest we have to say that our hearts are so bent towards selfishness, there is such a natural resistance towards serving and loving and giving self-sacrificially day after day, even when it does suit us, let alone all those times it doesn't! We are weak, we are sinful, we are easily distracted, easily tempted, easily bored and tired, easily flattered ... yet all the power of the Lord - the same power that raised Jesus to life again - is working in us, and that is what has kept us together.

So there is nothing left to say, other than: To God be the Glory!!!!!

Covered

2011-01-20T20:11:00.012+01:00

Having not grown up with snow, or really seen it until I moved here 2 years ago, I have been really surprised at its cat-like nature, that is the way it just lies there, where it plonks, and expects everyone else to adjust themselves around it. It is highly unaccommodating. And so after a heavy snowfall, every Norwegian is outside, with their spades and shovels, and a calm, resigned expression on their faces, carefully digging away the snow - and they do it with surgeon precision - as if every Norwegian were born, not only with skis on their feet, but with shovels in their hands (to a really tough mother). Anyway, many times Daniel (and once or twice, me too) has stood, spade in hand, and an expression of dismay, as he has watched our neighbours work at lightening speed, slicing the snow away like a cake, leaving a neat little carved out space, in the shape of their cars - and 3 hours later we are still hacking away at our snow, wondering why they don't get the prison inmates to come and do this - it is after all prison work, and they are after all just sitting on their butts, watching DSTV, being served meals of their choice and told that they are in fact the victims, so must give themselves a break. That's one of the many generous gifts liberalism has given us.

Anyway, we are getting into it slowly, I am sure that around about April, when the snow is all melting, we will have it down to a fine art.

What it means, however, is that little piles of snow start growing on the sides of the roads, and then they become walls, and they get higher and higher - as snow is not like sand (which I thought it would be), it just stays where you put it - in cat-like indulgence.

So here is my street - see the piles rising. I am claustrophobic, and this foreign substance covering my world, and getting bigger and bigger around me just doesn't help.

Did I ever tell you about the time I was attacked by my scarf? It was a strangling attempt. I was driving along, with Kristin in the back, she was a baby, and suddenly I felt something constrict around my throat and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stop the car either because I was driving fast along a busy lane of traffic. The faster I drove, the more it tightened around my neck until I was really splattering and gasping. Feeling about, I realised it was my scarf - but I couldn't get it undone - I struggled and struggled, while turning blue and trying not to die in a car accident either - although that would be a more acceptable way to die than 'strangled to death by scarf'. Anyway, eventually I got it off, and it escaped quickly through the door, and out of sight. I stopped at the first place I could, to get my breath and wits back - and mourn the loss of my scarf, that seemed to have been stuck in the wheel of my car - I loved that scarf, even though it viciously tried to take my life.

So now I have a slight but significant scarf phobia as well.

When I was in preschool, my teacher had 4 pictures up, to illustrate the 4 different seasons of the year. The winter one was a picture of snow.

Even though we lived in Africa, and none of us had ever seen snow.

I remember praying often, at that tender age, that I would live in a place that has snow. Be careful what you pray for, sometimes God says yes.

And so, in His great providence, He sent me here, even with claustrophobia, and even with a mild yet significant scarf phobia.

And I've survived two years so far.

In fact, by God's grace, I've much more than survived.

What do Norwegians and hot air balloons have in common ....?

2011-01-19T13:34:00.006+01:00

...... they work no matter what the weather.

The other day the kids and I joined Anna and Carl Magnus - whom we call Carl the Magnificent - because it's people like him who kept Norway alive before civilisation, when the population was being culled by the weather - truly Norwegian genius stock - anyway, we joined them to make home made, paper hot air balloons, and then sent them up later that day.

It was a very serious, laborious affair,

with absolutely no laughter or messing about.

Then we went outside, to send them up into the cold, winter air ..

Such delicate little things, made from such thin paper ...

with a fire lit inside.

And off it went, like a little lantern, going higher and higher ..

There is a lesson to learn from it, isn't there? No matter how fragile your exterior, it's what's lighting your fire that counts. Except perhaps that one that burnt to smithereens, and lay dying in the snow, because the paper caught alight. In that situation your exterior does count. And also if you're a South African, sending up hot air balloons in Norway during the winter, and you forgot to wear your woollen socks. Then your exterior really does count a lot. And also if you were a caterpillar, and all red and scary, so the birds don't eat you - that's a pretty important exterior also. But I am sure in most other cases your exterior doesn't count. And so the lesson still stands.

In Norway for 2 whole years!

2011-01-19T06:00:00.001+01:00

Two years ago I moved from urban Africa to rural Norway - and I will never forget the day we arrived.
This new world was covered in snow - and I mean the "I couldn't tell where the roads ended and the houses started" kind of covered. It was like God was holding a white sheet over my new world, waiting for the right moment to dramatically lift it up and go 'dadaaaa' there it is: Norway, your new home, isn't it gorgeous! - and that is exactly what happened: when spring came, suddenly I saw it. Trees, pathways, parks, whole areas, grannies on benches - they all thawed and appeared as the snow sunk down. I have often thought that this was good preparation for what I faced with the Norwegian people themselves, because it was exactly that when I first encountered them: they were hidden, as if behind a blanket of apparent expressionless blankness, not revealing much of any emotion or personal opinion - giving the distinct impression that they would be rather more comfortable if the entire human population was removed from the earth - at least the northern part of it - when suddenly, as I waited and watched, they appeared, and there they were in all their glory- wonderfully thawed in the spring of our relationship. And they were lovely.

Yes, my new world has given me many precious gifts - people, traditions, sensations, so many experiences, however there has been the small matter of LANGUAGE that's always got in the way. It has been as if all these precious gifts: the souls, the experiences - have been given to me in a locked box, and the only key that can open them is the Norwegian language. I hold the box, so desperate for the contents, so desperate for the relationships, the participation, but that darn key is just so stiff in the lock! Will it ever turn!?

Funnily enough, I have a Norwegian test on the exact anniversary of our arrival, it is quite symbolic, and is a sort of celebration for me of the fact that I can now tell the difference between a person's name and 'apparently' in Norwegian. Seriously, the language learning has been hard, to say the least. Down right blood, sweat and tears HARD.

But luckily I don't have much time to ponder the hard things, I am too busy with my new found skills, such as snow shovelling (serious prison work), ice walking (a delicate art), dressing small children for the winter (for my sanctification), moose dodging (totally happened), and my personal favourite - stomping all over subtle social clues. (I would add skiing, but I'm not sure falling ungracefully constitutes a skill!)

Overall, these two years have been, as anticipated, a journey of great discovery. However, it was a discovery more of myself than of a new land, I found that although I thought the Norwegian people were on display before me - to be studied, to be understood, to be critiqued, it was in fact me who was on display - what really lies in my heart, what really fuels and motivates my social actions and reactions, and what happens to my will and convictions when every bit of me is squeezed out of shape, squashed into a different setting.

And so, because of that, it has in fact, primarily, been a journey towards the Lord - because my very existence stems from Him and is for Him. I have gotten to know and trust Him in ways I never knew possible. As He took away everything I found comfortable and safe, everything I was relying on, the reality of Him was so much more stark. He is there. He can be trusted. He does not leave us.

It was in the hardest times, the times I rested on Him the heaviest, the times I clung to Him with my fingernails, those where the times my soul was most refreshed, my spirits most elevated and my fears most comforted - and I crave that now. I have tasted it, and I do not want to go back. I so often do, everyday, back to a sort of mediocre oh-God-is-there-but-I'll-get-on-with-life sort of attitude, where He is pushed to the back and not really considered. I do it so often yet my soul fights it now because, after tasting it, it wants nothing other than the elevation of total abandonment to Him alone. And I pray that I will never be at ease unless I am there.

So I guess that whatever experiences we have as Christians - whether it be settling down up the road from your folks, or moving to the North-flippen-Pole, it is always significant because God is always at work in us - and our circumstances, no matter what they may be, are always only tools in His hand, that He uses to finish and perfect the good work He has begun in us. And so our circumstances are always secondary - it is first and foremost always in Him, and in His capable hands, where we live and move and have our being.

Can anyone say: hooray for Jesus! Here's to the next two years up north! Thank you for joining me on my journey.

Interesting stats for this blog…

2011-01-18T11:12:00.002+01:00

Last month (18 Dec to 17 Jan) YOU were one of 172 visitors to this blog.
17 people were brand new visitors this month (the other 155 are regulars!)

The blog was viewed 737 times, with people spending just under 2 minutes on average.
6 January recorded the highest number of visitors (52). That was the post "Life right now" featuring Kaleb Jack, a false nose, some neighbourhood scenery, and a delicious meal (which I ate shortly after the picture was taken. YUM!)

Half of all traffic is from South Africa, followed closely by Norway, with the UK a distant third. There is a smattering of visitors from Canada, USA, Australia, New Zealand, and Ireland.
50% of visitors have visited the site between 50 and 100 times.
18% of visitors have visited the site more than 200 times! (you regulars know who you are :-) )
One final interesting statistic (for nerds only, maybe) is that most of you use Firefox (36%). (IE is next at 31%, with Chrome at 17%, and Apple Mac users (Safari) at 14%)

Compared to last year, same time frame, the number of visitors has grown from 50 to 172: an increase of 254%! And visitors are spending longer, visiting more frequently, and viewing more pages.

Which means…
Debby is a great writer, who is able to weave humour, family news, and deep truths about human nature and about God, into a marvellously enjoyable (and sometimes challenging) tapestry. Hooray for Debby! We praise God for her and her gifts.

(This nerdy, numbers-focussed blog post was quite clearly written by the resident Chartered Accountant, and not by my lovely wife!)

the end of Christmas ....

2011-01-15T07:24:00.013+01:00

It is officially the end of Christmas, because today we took down our Christmas tree. Norwegians put up their Christmas tree like a day or two before Christmas, and then only take it down on some random day in January, the 20th day after Christmas or something. Of course I am used to putting it up as early as possible and taking it down the day after Christmas. Having a Christmas tree up after Christmas is like having chocolate in the house when you are on a diet. Just cruel. Christmas is over. There is a whole year to wait. Let's just put away all reminders of this fact as soon as possible.

But because I like Christmas so very much, and we are in Norway, we have decided to put it up early in December and take it down when all the Norwegians do - and this year they did it in true Norwegian style, gathering together in town to burn their trees in a huge bonfire while reciting traditional, Norwegian poems, singing songs and BBQing sausages. Only Norwegians can turn something as bizarre as Christmas tree burning into a culture-defining, society-bonding, outdoor-conquering tradition.

Over the Christmas period we watched a dramatisation of the birth of Jesus ("the Nativity Story"). We thought it was very well done, with one or two holes, but worth watching as a family, and probably more enjoyable as a Christian (may be a bit boring for a non Christian who doesn't believe it's true). I was struck again at the shame Mary had to endure for being a virgin who was pregnant. It depicted the tight community they lived in, the sense of honour they held and the seriousness of pregnancy out of wedlock, she could even have been killed - stoned to death. I thought, 'wow, that's a big ask from God', how she must have struggled to trust Him through it all, while being accused and enduring rejection from her people. He chose a vulnerable teenage girl to carry such an impossible burden, and He told Joseph only after He was hurt and had to consider what to do with her. Then I thought it is actually quite similar for us. Jesus requires us to share in His shame, to carry the burden and disgrace of the cross in order to share in His glory. Following Him often makes our circumstances difficult and awkward (if we are not compromising and are true followers), and there is shame involved in living as a Christ follower in a world that hates Him so much. My prayer is for a response like Mary: "I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." (Luke 1)

This was my main reflection today, as I took down the Christmas decorations.

My thoughts also went to a particular gift that was not given in the Christmas spirit, in fact it was not given at all:

When I was in South Africa I went Christmas shopping. I found a lovely gift, a pair of heart shaped earrings. They jumped out at me, they called my name. I came home and wrapped them up for a friend and wrote a Christmas card and took the gift with me to church. But I didn't take it out. I just left it there in my bag. I came home, unwrapped the gift and hung the earrings on my earring holder - never to part with them again. Now whenever I speak to my friend I keep looking at her naked earlobes and a tinge of guilt grips me. How lovely those earrings would look on her ... but really, they look just as lovely on ME.

So those are my last Christmas reflections, maybe next year I should ask for a big, fat dose of generosity.

some special ladies

2011-01-13T13:05:00.003+01:00

Hi mom and dad, missing you both so much. Want to show you this picture. Here we are having a pre Christmas dinner at my place: me and 3 of the 5 ladies who attend my bible study.

Martine (sitting next to me) is as kind and sweet as her eyes say she is. She is gentle and humble and puts people at ease. I am excited to see what the Lord has planned for her.

Rebecca (sitting opposite me) lights up the room when she enters, she is highly gifted and talented, and has blessed us greatly with her songs. She also has a depth of insight in her that is developing more and more.

Mia (next to Rebecca) is so quick to grasp God's truths, she is a delight to have in a bible study, her hunger for God's word is infectious - in fact she was the one who invited all the other ladies to join us. Definitely a budding evangelist and theologian that one!

These ladies are so dear to me, I pray for them most earnestly, longing that they will keep on growing in the Lord, and bring Him glory more and more.

On Tuesday night, over Rooibos tea and burnt crunchies, we tackled the subject of predestination, as we got to Romans 9. My understanding of it is so limited, and I so inadequately attempted to teach it. I pray that they will embrace the sovereignty of God, and that, in time, it will bring them the assurance it ought to bring.

I am so proud of these girls, and I am convinced that they are teaching me more than I will ever teach them. It is so humbling to run a bible study, I am reminded every week of how so very dependent I am on God and on His work in both my heart and in the hearts of those who attend. It is all the Lord's work, we work our guts out but He does it all, and for that I am most thankful.

I am so thankful that He can take the seemingly unattainable truths found in the book of Romans, and allow them to not only renew our minds but soften our hearts towards Him. Now that is a true miracle, those are the miracles we should be writing home about, which is in fact what I am now doing. So there you go.

Thank you for the steady and consistent example you gave me in teaching people the bible, and for your humility, for always being prepared to be the one most challenged and altered by it.

I love you guys, the examples of Christian pilgrimage that you are will live with me all the days of my life.

Once upon a time ....

2011-01-12T19:25:00.006+01:00

.... there was a mother and a little boy. They loved each other very much, and either one wouldn't quite know what to do without the other.

One beautiful, sunny day the little boy took the mother for a walk. They wanted to find some fun.

He tried the park ... but the snow was too deep.

So they walked further.

Then he tried the hill. The boy was clever and strong, and the mother was proud.

But the hill was too steep.

Finally, they tried the local school yard.

And it was just right.

So they stayed there and gobbled up all the fun.

But then the wicked white witch came, and she stretched her long, icy fingers right into the mother, right through her 13 layers of wool clothing, until she got to her bones, and then she gripped them hard until they too turned into ice. So the little boy and the mother had to leave. The mother knew a secret to defeat the witch - walking very quickly back to the heated indoors.

And so the witch was defeated, and they lived happily ever after - except for most of the journey back, when the little boy wanted to be carried and the mother's bones were still feeling frozen, but soon a good heating system and chocolate brownies brought back the happily ever after.

family pictures: a world of difference

2011-01-10T14:39:00.008+01:00

While we are being snowed on ....

.... our family down south have welcomed in the new year African style, with some very special African friends. Here are some pictures they sent:

African animal spotting ... it's all in a day's work!

Under the magnificent African sky!

Thank you Lil for these pictures! Miss you all so so much, glad you had a great time hanging with the wildlife.

(And thanks Jack for the picture of Kaleb in the snow, stole it from you on Facebook. Your pictures will never be safe again!)

Fighting Fear as a Christian

2011-01-09T15:00:00.001+01:00

Every new year brings new opportunities to fear. There are so many things to fear, and every heart knows its own fears. Sometimes with good reason: sometimes fears have been born out of great trials and suffering, and so the soul seems to have no option but to fear.

I struggle a lot with fear. It is a constant battle for me, and there are so many unknowns this year that make the urge to fear almost irresistible. In God's providence the subject has come up in some of the books and blogs I have been reading lately. And I have been reminded that the remedy is trust in the Lord. It is simple, it is hard, but it is the only way to be free from fear.

Everyone trusts in something, it is impossible to live without trusting in something or someone. In Tim Keller's book 'counterfeit gods' he says:

"One of the signs that an object is functioning as an idol is that fear becomes one of the chief characteristics of life. When we centre our lives on the idol, we become dependent on it. If our counterfeit god is threatened if any way, our response is complete panic. We do not say, 'What a shame, how difficult', but rather, 'This is the end! There's no hope!'"

But the same question always comes up: bad things happen to Christians, so how can I trust God? I am always puzzled by this, I don't understand why they think that God has promised to give Christians a suffering-free life. Maybe they have read His promises in the Bible about heaven, and take them as promises for this life - but then you need to ignore the rest of the clear promises about suffering! In many places in the bible it predicts a life of persecution for us. Many Christians have been brutally tortured and murdered for the very fact that they are Christians - trusting in God not only didn't stop suffering, it brought it on!

So what are we trusting God for then, if not for a suffering-free life? Well, one of my favourite psalms is Psalm 23: The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

There are three images in this Psalm, one is good - still waters, peace. God leads him there. And why does He do that? v3 - 'for His name's sake' for His own glory, God is concerned primarily with His own glory.

But the next two images are horrible. v4 'Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ...' not 'if', 'even though' ... and here's the part we are to trust God in:

'I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me'

God is with us in the hard times, working in our lives, making us like Jesus, keeping us Christians - which is the greatest good we can ever get, an eternity in hell is much worse than a bit of suffering in this life. And what's more, He uses His rod and His staff: using shepherd imagery, they used their rods and staffs to move the sheep along, keep them on the straight and narrow (sometimes it hurt!). It's God's law, His word - found in the bible. His words and commands comfort us.

Then it goes on,

'You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies ..' God seems quite active in this doesn't he? HE prepares the table. But see here:

'you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows, surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.'

What greater good is there than to know the Lord, and to be adopted into His family? That will follow us all the days of our lives, until we are taken up to glory, to be with Him.

This Psalm is a great comfort to me as I face the year ahead. Because even if I make perfectly good decisions, and behave exactly as I ought to (which I won't) there are so many unknowns, so many things out of my control that could ruin my life. I keep reminding myself that even if He has allowed something that has caused me pain, that does not make Him any less the trustworthy God He is. That is a reality that stays unchanged. It it us who need to redefine what it is we need Him to do for us. We are the ones who need to change our world views and expectations. Never God. And it is a life long journey, that will only ever be complete in heaven, and it is God who will help us. We can trust Him to finish the good work He has begun in us.

Of course this does not mean that we have all the answers. Why God allows some Christians to suffer some things and others not will always be a mystery this side of heaven. It is something I want to ask Him when I see Him face to face. Neither do we need to lessen the damaging effects of suffering, and what people go through, and how it can affect them. Never ever, we need to carry each other's burdens, and cry with them and help each other. But, for the Christian, healing and freedom from fear can never be found in a place other than God Himself.

So how do we do this practically? Because I need day to day guidance on this, because I am riddled with fear, fear for myself and my loved ones, especially my children. The Mahaney clan helpfully points out our need, as Christians, to talk to ourselves, rather than listen to ourselves.

God's promises and the reality of His character and goodness (seen most clearly on the cross) are as real and big as our circumstances, feelings and fears, in fact even bigger. Instead of listening to our fears, we need to tell ourselves truths from God's word. Here are some helpful examples from John Piper, taken from the GirlTalk blog:

* When I am anxious about some risky new venture or meeting, I battle unbelief with the promise: “Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God; I will help you, I will strengthen you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

* When I am anxious about my ministry being useless and empty, I fight unbelief with the promise, “So shall my word that goes forth from my mouth; it will not come back to me empty but accomplish that which I purpose, and prosper in the thing for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11).

* When I am anxious about being too weak to do my work, I battle unbelief with the promise of Christ, “My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9), and “As your days so shall your strength be” (Deuteronomy 33:25).

* When I am anxious about decisions I have to make about the future, I battle unbelief with the promise, “I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you” (Psalm 32:8).

* When I am anxious about facing opponents, I battle unbelief with the promise, “If God is for us who can be against us!” (Romans 8:31).

* When I am anxious about being sick, I battle unbelief with the promise that “tribulation works patience, and patience approvedness, and approvedness hope, and hope does not make us ashamed” (Romans 5:3–5).

* When I am anxious about getting old, I battle unbelief with the promise, “Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save” (Isaiah 46:4).

* When I am anxious about dying, I battle unbelief with the promise that “none of us lives to himself and none of us dies to himself; if we live we live to the Lord and if we die we die to the Lord. So whether we live or die we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and rose again: that he might be Lord both of the dead and the living” (Romans 14:9–11).

* When I am anxious that I may make shipwreck of faith and fall away from God, I battle unbelief with the promise, “He who began a good work in you will complete it unto the day of Christ” (Philippians 1:6). “He who calls you is faithful. He will do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:23). “He is able for all time to save those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them” (Hebrews 7:25).

Bear with me a little longer, because I want to share with you everything I have read on this subject in the last couple of months, only because I have been so helped by it. I may have shared this on my blog before, but it's worth a reread. It is taken from Spurgeon's evening and morning devotions, and is so relevant for trusting God even when we suffer, and it is very radical.

In speaking on Psalm 47:4 "He shall choose our inheritance for us." he says:

"Believer, if your inheritance be a lowly one you should be satisfied with your earthly portion; for you may rest assured that it is the fittest for you. Unerring wisdom ordained your lot, and selected for you the safest and best condition. A ship of large tonnage is to be brought up the river; now, in one part of the stream there is a sandbank; should some one ask, “Why does the captain steer through the deep part of the channel and deviate so much from a straight line?” His answer would be, “Because I should not get my vessel into harbour at all if I did not keep to the deep channel.” So, it may be, you would run aground and suffer shipwreck, if your divine Captain did not steer you into the depths of affliction where waves of trouble follow each other in quick succession. Some plants die if they have too much sunshine. It may be that you are planted where you get but little, you are put there by the loving Husbandman, because only in that situation will you bring forth fruit unto perfection. Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there. You are placed by God in the most suitable circumstances, and if you had the choosing of your lot, you would soon cry, “Lord, choose my inheritance for me, for by my self-will I am pierced through with many sorrows.” Be content with such things as you have, since the Lord has ordered all things for your good. Take up your own daily cross; it is the burden best suited for your shoulder, and will prove most effective to make you perfect in every good word and work to the glory of God. Down busy self, and proud impatience, it is not for you to choose, but for the Lord of Love!"